The 4% that Counts

I decided to update my profile to include my map, just like Lydia. I have been to way more states! So, I was thinking about it, but there aren't that many places I actually want to go. I like to travel in the US and I could also visit more of Europe anytime, but there aren't that many other places I would go. Probably Japan, probably China... Definitely Canada, but I have plans to go there already.

Superhero Personality Quiz

Below are my results for the superhero personality quiz.

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 90% Hulk 85% Green Lantern 85% Iron Man 80% Batman 65% Catwoman 60% The Flash 40% Robin 38% Superman 35% Supergirl 31% Wonder Woman 26%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

To be honest, I don't think I am that much like Spider-Man. I think I am way more like Hulk or Green Lantern, maybe with a little more Batman than the test came out.

I took the test completely again, and I answered slightly differently on a few questions I was a bit iffy on the first time, and these were my results:

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 85% Spider-Man 80% Green Lantern 80% Batman 70% Iron Man 70% Catwoman 60% Superman 40% Robin 40% The Flash 35% Supergirl 31% Wonder Woman 26%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

This made more sense to me. My percentage of Hulk did not rise, but my Spider-Man percentage dropped. Being Spider-Man is not bad, and I am not entirely anti-Spider-Man, but I think I am not as goofy most of the time. I was glad to see that my Batman levels also rose when I re-took the test.

When I think of Hulk, I think of the duality of Hulk and Bruce Banner. I think it fits.

(BTW, the html is a bit messed up when I look at this, but I don't want to bother correcting it.)

10 Year Oakmont High School Reunion

Well, here is my long-awaited report on the Oakmont Class of 1996 reunion. I will come right out and say it: I had a terrible time. It was so bad that I am still struggling with how best to describe it. So, forgive the long and rambling tale that follows. It is both amusing and depressing, much like the reunion itself.

I got to the reunion a little before 7pm, which is when registration was supposed to start. It was not open yet, and there were two people standing in front that I recognized but did not know. I could stop there, and that would pretty much describe my entire evening, but I will continue. The doors opened shortly thereafter, and we entered the fairly large room. According to the bartender, the room holds between 200 and 300 people. I would estimate that with the tables each holding 8 people, that based upon the approximate number of tables, 200 was the more likely of the two estimates. At the registration table, I remember Shannon Lynch was checking people in, Karla was standing around as a greeter, and Nicole Gieck was possibly directing people to the photographer. Shannon recognized me, which would be one of the few times that night, and she was very nice. I wanted to find her later, when she wasn’t working the door, but I did not see her during my laps of the room.

My wife had a nametag with her name, but it was not until later that we found out that she was basically one of the only spouses with one, even though she was from the Class of 1997, not 1996. She took it off after about an hour and a half because even if people did know her, it would not help that her married name was on there and not her maiden name.

We had our photo taken, and then we went over to the bar. I do not drink, but my wife wanted something, possibly a vodka tonic. Luckily she had the cash, as I never carry any. I knew that the wine, water, and sparkling cider was free and everything else was regular price, but apparently she had ignored Karla when she said that to us.

So, we went off to the side of the bar, and started talking to each other. I saw someone going to the bar that I thought might be Chris Haugh, but after a few seconds I decided that it was no one I knew. Suddenly, I was attacked out of the blue by the Chris Haugh impersonator’s date: Laurel Hanson. Note that this is the first and last time that anybody will come up to me the entire evening.

It was very pleasant to see Laurel. We had been very close until about 8 years ago, and we only saw each other a few times after that. Her hair was a regular color, which it had not been the last time I saw her. I mentioned Rob to her and she was glad to hear a little news about him. She was disappointed that Elsie was not there, as she was looking forward to seeing her. She had a different story of what happened between her and Elsie than Elsie shared, but I think that time has pretty much healed all for both. I have her business card in case anybody wants to get in touch with her.

We found a table and we sat. Laurel sat with us. Some Dustin guy sat at the table. (It was not Dustin Kramer.) Dustin knew Laurel, but we did not know each other. He was pleasant and his girlfriend was also a mortgage professional, so we talked for a few minutes. At about 7:30, the room was pretty well populated. I had a glass of warm cider, which was nasty, so I tried the wine, which was surprisingly nastier, so I had water the rest of the night. (I do not want to seem like a hypocrite for saying I don't drink, but the half glass of nasty wine was the first alcohol I have had in a couple of years, and probably the last for a long time.) People continued filing in. I had already glanced at the nametags, and while there were familiar names, Enrique Kindermann and Karen Aguas were not among them.

At this point, I saw some familiar sideburns, so I approached Jason Ormsby and spoke with him. I was extremely nervous at this point. Jason said, “Fuck it, Chris. This shit didn’t matter then, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter now.” I agreed with the sentiment, made some awkward conversation, and then let him get back to his group. Amazingly, Paul Taylor had grown a few inches after graduation, and he now has a beard, so he looks a lot like Kevin Nash, the wrestler formerly known as Diesel.

So people kept filing in. Familiar faces, and for each familiar face I usually had a name. Unfortunately, there is a human habit I know all too well. For a little backstory, I attended 13 schools before I started college, so I got used to meeting new people, learning names, remembering little details about people. I would often revisit with people after I had moved, and in a good number of cases, they no longer knew who I was. So basically, it is not enough to recognize someone, or know their name, or know something about them, but you also must know that they will know who you are. Just because I remember all the little details of someone I had Chemistry class with, to them I could be just a face in the crowd. And even then, you have to want to talk to them. If you basically sat two rows over from them in Chem class, you probably don’t have much to talk about.

To make matters worse, I have put on weight and have grown a beard. I don’t know what it is about a beard, but I may as well have been wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask if I want people to recognize me. I got used to people glancing over at me and then quickly acting like they didn’t see me, as if I was a panhandler asking for change. I would say that maybe three guys had a beard at the whole event.

So anyway, you may all want some stories about how people have changed and all that. To be honest with you, most people really looked the same. It may as well have been the summer after graduation. By the time everyone arrived, I would say there was somewhere around 25-30% of the graduating class in attendance. Of course, that does not mean that all groups were equally represented. Nearly anyone who I ever talked to or hung out with was not there, with few exceptions. In fact, nearly everyone I ever did a class project with was not there. I could go through the stunningly large list of who was not there, but basically, unless they were part of certain groups, they were probably not there.

The table next to me had several familiar people: Stacey May, Christine Lau, the Kesler twins, and Candace Epstein. None of them recognized me. I was going to try to talk to Candace, even though she gave me the panhandler look whenever she went by, because we talked quite a bit in college. Unfortunately, I had three factors working against me: 1. She was wearing her name tag on her belt loop. I suspect that this is part of that whole identical twin thing where they expect that you be able to distinguish them, even when you haven’t seen them for several years. (I knew it was Candace only after reading that it was her in the biobook.) 2. She was flanked by the Keslers, who in college were very vocal about not knowing who the hell I am. I don’t care if you don’t recognize me, but to actively disbelieve that I went to your school is a bit much. I am not a fan. 3. She spent almost all of the night dancing, and while it is awkward to go up to someone and force them to recognize you, it is infinitely more awkward to do that to someone who is dancing.

Dinner came, and it was fairly icky. Why are all banquets generally so unappealing? We had salad with choice of ranch or Italian. I hate ranch. The croutons were the antithesis of your mental image of a crouton: Soggy, limp, and mealy. The entrée was chicken with some white gravy, mashed potatoes with a hint of garlic (I hate garlic), tiny sugarcube sized pieces of cornbread, and asparagus. I traded my asparagus to my wife for her mashed potatoes, even though I really didn’t like the potatoes much. The chicken was okay; dry, but the gravy hid that fact well. For dessert, they served some flavorless chocolate torte. It was passable. Compared to the wine, the food was extraordinary.

I should mention that there was a slide show going on all night of the high school yearbook photos. It wasn’t centered correctly on the screen, so it was fine for the portraits, but when they went to the black and white photos of people around school, you often saw a disembodied torso. It took a while to figure out why they were so interested in showing off these beheaded photos. Also, all night the DJ was playing generic hits of the past. He did seem to try to play mostly mid-90's, even if his song choices were uninspired. He occasionally played a few mid-80's hits, which seemed jarring, even if they were mood appropriate.

So, at around 8:15, Monika Zalte came over and said hi to my wife. We are close friends with her younger sister Lija, and we are going to be feeding Monika's cat when they are out of town. She was staying at the hotel with some friends. She had gotten a bit too much sun at the pool, but she was having fun.

The night dragged on. I saw Matt Thompson almost walk by. I wanted to say hi, but he was gone too fast. When I saw him later in the evening, he was about 30 people deep at the bar. It was a long way to go to say hi to a guy I sat diagonal to in English class. We only really knew each other because of David Greene, who wasn't there.

I went on one of many laps around the room and ran into Jason again. We talked to him and his former roommate who had crashed the party. I thought his roommate was pretty cool. We had a good conversation, and Jason gave me a bit of a pep talk. I didn't really get any further pep, but I appreciated his words.

By the middle of the night I had made the decision that I would definitely try to be more aggressive in meeting people, especially given that by this point I had talked to Laurel and Jason and that is it. Carolyn was already begging for us to leave, but I wanted to talk to at least a couple of people. I approached Christine Lau at the table next to us. She had a bit of a nervous look, so I pointed at the nametag. Her eyes widened and she jumped up. We had a good talk for quite a while. She was my Chem partner. She lives in LA now. She remembered that I had gone to LA to pursue my career. It was a delightful conversation. She mentioned that she had heard that Ms. Colnar and Mr. Newborn had gotten married. I don't know if anyone can confirm that one, as it is a bit out there, but I would love to find out. It is funny to think about. It brings back memories of Ms. Colnar wanting Elsie Lodde to take a picture of her wearing a body stocking. That was fairly creepy.

I continued to scan the room. At this point I had pretty much given up on seeing anyone else. I could tell that Candace would be dancing for a while, Shannon was AWOL, and Matt T. was far too deep in the crowd at the bar. I thought that I saw Dawn Babasin, but she had told me that she was not going to go to the reunion. But I saw her over and over again, so I figured that I would approach the Dawnesque individual and ascertain whether it was, in fact, Dawn. Upon further inspection, it was indeed Dawn, and we also spoke for a few minutes. It was approaching 10pm at this point. She had had a few drinks and was dancing. We did not really talk much, but it was nice to see her. I said that we should make some plans with a mutual friend, and so we made these imaginary plans that may or may not ever happen. It was nice to see someone unexpected.

So, at this point, we had pretty much tapped all of the possibilities for talking to people that I knew. I could have approached Lindsay Yakimovich or Karla or some other people, but if we never talked in high school, why would we talk now? We decided to grab our gift bag and leave. I wanted to say goodbye to Laurel, so we spent about 15 minutes trying to find her. At that point our night ended. In the gift bag was the DVD of the slide show and the biobook. The biobook has the questionnaires that we were all asked to fill out, and includes several email addresses. If anyone wants me to see if someone's email address is listed in the biobook, just let me know.

So, I cannot lie and say that I had a good time. That said, I feel far better having gone and knowing that I had a shitty time than if I had not gone and regretted it forever. So, with that in mind, here are the highlights:

1. While I only talked to 4 people: Jason, Laurel, Christine, and Dawn, I enjoyed talking to each of them and catching up. If you do not see old friends very often, it is much more valuable to you to see them on those rare occasions.

2. Jason's pep talks. They made me feel only marginally better, but the fact that he was trying says a lot.

3. Laurel gushing about me. She says that she still talks about me all the time and that her now deceased father was always talking about how I would be the next Oliver Stone. We had a lot of fun.

4. It was nice to hear that Laurel wants to meet back up with Elsie. Time is like that. When Carolyn and I stopped talking to our friend Heather Ferguson, it took a few years, but we finally became friends again, and even though she lives in New York, we are all extremely close. You sometimes just need a break.

5. Christine remembering so much about me. She told my wife that I was an awesome Chem partner, which is true, but is nice to hear from someone other than me.

6. Both Jason and Laurel told the person they were with about my SAT scores. I haven't talked about those since early college, and they both remembered them.

7. My wife and I got to talk trash about people all night. That did more for cheering me up than anything else.

8. Seeing that the Miller twins were bald. They had shaved their heads, but their hair had grown in a bit, and if they grew it all out, they would have had something close to the hairline of Captain Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I really didn't have anything against them myself, but they had been cruel to my friend Enrique in high school, and that always pissed me off.

I saw a lot of people I vaguely remembered, had a little fun, but mainly felt terrible that almost no one I knew had bothered to show up. I am glad I went, even if it was one of the worst experiences in recent memories. At least I saw the people I saw and I have the biobook.

And again, if anyone wants the email address for someone, let me know and I will see if they are listed in the biobook.

Unclutterbug

Today I am starting an experiment that may make me update my blog more often. We will see how it goes.

I have taken an extended leave of absence from my blogging duties. Normally, this would be because of the usual suspects: TV, movies, video games, and general web-surfing. To a small extent, these all have played a role in my lack of posts. Another set of issues is that I am still not entirely comfortable writing in a blog format. I like being able to share my thoughts at a moment’s notice, but at the same time, I have a strong editorial urge. I spend so much time revising and rewording my posts that it takes several hours for me to write any of them. Plus, I get disheartened when I realize that, at best, the payoff for all of those hours of work is that maybe one or two people will read the post, and I may get one or two comments. I get criticized, mainly by my wife, but I suspect others would agree, that I am fairly wordy. She says that it is painful to read my posts because they are so long and probably a bit too complex in structure. I suppose that blogging is more therapeutic than anything else. It is cathartic to finally get an idea out there for all to read, but while I always feel relief at completing even a simple post, I soon start to feel guilt over the posts that I have yet to write. I do get some exercise for my brain that I cannot find elsewhere, but overall, given the amount of time put into each post, I don’t feel that satisfied.

So, other than the usual distractions, and the low payoff for spending several hours writing an involved post, I did have another reason for not tending to my blogging duties; I have been ridding myself of clutter. The reasons for my sudden interest in uncluttering my life are manifold, and some of them are very personal, but there are many other reasons. A few months ago, Carolyn and I were at a friend’s housewarming and he had a coffee table book about feng shui. I would not really apply all of the rules to my life, such as the furniture arrangements in orientation to the cardinal directions and certain color arrangements, but some of the other items made a lot of sense. I want to have a house where I don’t need to have things packed away into countless tubs and boxes. I do not want to live without any sort of collections, but I would like to have only those collections that are important to me. I am sentimental, and I do hold onto things for too long, but I want to hold onto only those items most precious, or at least not hold onto those items that have no positive mental value. I want more organization, and I want to be able to enjoy and share those items that I have collected that are meaningful to me. Above all else, I want to rid myself of items that do not resonate positively in my life, items that I hold out of guilt or obligation. Sometimes we hold onto things because we know that if we did not do so, we might be betraying those who gave them to us. We also hold onto items that may have monetary value, but have no real value to us. I also am very guilty of holding onto items that MIGHT have monetary value, or that may have had monetary value, but do not currently have much value at all. It is like the person that buys a stock at its peak value and holds onto it during the long downward spiral in hopes that eventually it will turn around rather than cashing out and accepting the loss.

Anyway, I have almost completed a first sweep of all of my possessions and I have put approx. 30-40% of them in the pile of items to get rid of. It is a great accomplishment for a lifelong packrat. I am not at a point where I am even close to as minimalist as the least minimalist people I know, but I am getting there. I don’t want to live in a house that has no personal possessions. After reading the feng shui book, I know I would not want to get to that point where there are no collections or personality in my house. But there is a place in between the life I read about and the life I live, and I can get there, and I want to get there, even if it means doing less blog posts for a while.

And one final point, while I am making an effort to get my life uncluttered, the same will not apply to my blogging. I realize that my prose can be dense and inaccessible, but I do not really want to make an effort to change this. If I use archaicisms, then so be it; if I tend to write endless sentences with multiple clauses and rambling thoughts, I am perfectly fine with that. I realize that I should be concerned a bit more with my audience, but this is honestly the only outlet I have for non-monosyllabic discourse, so if it tends to turns out as stream of consciousness writing, even with my constant self-editing, I have accepted this as a compromise I can live with, and I hope you can indulge me. And no, not all posts will be this difficult to slog through.

Sleeping with the Enemy

Well, I finally caved and got a MySpace page. I wanted to get in touch with a few people on there, so it was obviously the only way.

If you want to check out my profile, I promise that there is no obnoxious background or song playing. Check it out here.

Birthday List

By popular demand, here is my birthday list, with recommended maximum prices. (I know that not all of these are currently available for these prices, but these are the maximum prices I would be willing to spend myself.) I sorted the items by priority within each category, but the categories are not really in any particular order. Right now I probably play more DS than any other system, followed by XBox. (Technically I play more old-school NES than XBox, but I want to see what games will be available for the Wii before I ask for any more NES games. Duck Tales, Little Nemo and Amagon are all high on my list.)

DS

$35 - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

$45 - Jump Super Stars

$20 - Brain Age: Train Your Brain

$30 - Kirby: Canvas Curse

$30 - Age of Empires: Age of Kings

$20 - Pac Pix

Wrestling DVDs

Bloodsport - ECW's Most Violent Matches

TNA Wrestling: The Best of the Bloodiest Brawls Volume 1

The Stone Cold Truth

Mick Foley's Greatest Hits & Misses: A Life in Wrestling

DVDs (Widescreen whenever possible)
Legend of Zelda: Complete Animated Series
The Aristocrats
$18 - The Twilight Zone - The Complete Series (the recent version)
The Office - The Complete Collection (First and Second Series Plus Special)
Arrested Development - Season One
$27 - Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 6, 7, 8, 9 or The Essentials
$10 - Ultimate Avengers - The Movie

Jackass the Box Set

The Pink Panther Classic Cartoon Collection
Justice League - Season One
Team America - World Police (Uncensored and Unrated Special Collector's Edition)

Family Guy, Vol. 3 (Not Season 3)

Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story

Gameboy Advance

$28 - Castlevania: Aria and Harmony 2 Pack

PS2

$20 - Soul Calibur III

$20 - Tekken 5

$20 - Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves

$20 - Kingdom Hearts 2

$70 - Guitar Hero

$20 - Destroy All Humans

Books

How to Draw (The Justice League)

The Batman Handbook: The Ultimate Training Manual

Misc.
$30 - Dragon's Lair 20th Anniversary Edition (Special edition that comes with Dragons Lair, Dragons Lair 2 and Space Ace, plus bonus footage. The version labeled DVD-Video compatible with PS2 and XBox; not the CD-Rom version for Windows 98.) Electronics Boutique has had this... Is it called EB Games now? Or Gamestop?

Gamecube
$20 - The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures

XBox
$20 - The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction
$20 - Burnout Revenge

New Picture Possibilities

Okay, so I really hated the pictures that I had selected for my picture initially, so I am going in a new direction. Let me know what you think of these. (I tried another one, but I could not get the picture to upload, and it was a jpg):

Quick Music Post: Five Favorite Songs

Okay, so there are some of you out there who don't like to post replies, and there are those of you who don't like to read long posts, so here is a short one.

I would like you to name your favorite five songs...

Don't put a lot of thought into it, because there are probably dozens of songs that you would consider worthy, so just pick five that you can think of right now and list them in the comments. You don't have to put them in order.

My favorite five songs are:

Creep - Radiohead
Hunger Strike - Temple of the Dog
Under Pressure - Queen/David Bowie
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Hyper-Ballad - Bjork

I look forward to your response!

Sharing Music with a Friend

Back in December, Zack did a post about the Who being his favorite band, and I replied with the following:

Well, I have put WAY too much thought into this, so sorry if it is too involved. The problem is that I am not as passionate for one band as Zack is for The Who or another friend of mine is for Rush. Oh, and Zack will be happy that Texas did not quite make my list.

10. Guns N' Roses - I had to put them on the list purely because they are the number one band with all key members still alive that I would want to see in concert. (If we are counting dead bands, it would be tough to choose between The Who and Queen.) Obviously, this is one case of Right now, I would say that my favorite songs are (in order): Civil War, Don't Cry, Estranged, and Since I Don't Have You.

9. Pearl Jam - Loved their first four albums, loved them from pretty much the moment they hit the radio, but I felt very alienated by their later work. I don't find them as listenable anymore, a bit dated, but I still enjoy them when in the mood. Favorite songs: Better Man, Black, Nothingman, Present Tense.

8. Beach Boys - I don't know how to explain my feelings for this band. When I was coming to America, Beach Boys and GNR were both very prominent for me. Maybe I love the romanticism of the California lifestyle, as if written by someone who is imagining what it is like to surf, to live young and free. I don't consider them to be my band, though, because I find it hard to fully relate to the music, even though I really love it. Favorite songs: God Only Knows, Good Vibrations, Do You Wanna Dance?, Wouldn't It Be Nice, Don't Worry Baby, Surfin' USA.

7. Metallica - I have enjoyed Metallica ever since a few months after the black album came out, which is when my tastes turned mostly to alternative bands. Over the years, I have grown to like them more and more. I can say that I am not nearly as obsessed as the typical Metallica fan, nor do I necessarily believe that their earliest work is their best. In fact, my favorite albums of theirs are (in order): S&M, the black album, and Load. S&M is the album that was done with the San Francisco Symphony. I agree with most fans that their last album was fairly crappy, but that doesn't ruin a very solid career's worth of music. I identify with the songs, the anger, the overlooked song writing, but not necessarily with everything that being labeled a Metallica fan entails. That said, I rarely tune out a Metallica song, unless it is Enter Sandman for the billionth time. (And I didn't mention Jeremy during my section about Pearl Jam, but I really hope it is never played again.) Favorite songs: Sad But True, No Leaf Clover, The Call of Ktulu, Master of Puppets, One, Hero of the Day, Nothing Else Matters, Bleeding Me.

6. The Who - I am almost scared to write anything good or bad about The Who on this topic. The Who, to me, has all of the anger and frustration in the world. They can have some of the most brilliant stripped down rock and some of the most wonderfully bloated (in a good way) pieces. Pete Townshend is amazing and transcendent, and really all four members are extraordinary. (As an aside, I absolutely love Let My Love Open the Door.) To me, it is not a contest between Zep and The Who because Zep never makes it to the field. Aside from a few great songs, most Zep is pretty mediocre. Anyway, I do not really know the entire catalog of The Who as much as some people I know, but I am glad that the same person encouraged me in college to give The Who more of a look. Favorite songs: Won't Get Fooled Again, You Better You Bet (too bad, Zack, this is a good song), The Seeker, I Can't Explain, Baba O'Riley, Substitute. (Side note: Baba O'Riley and Fortunate Son by CCR are, to me, the two best songs about war ever made.)

5. David Bowie - Loved his early stuff, loved his middle stuff, love his new stuff. I still buy new David Bowie music, even if it can be more hit and miss nowadays. For our first dance at our wedding, we selected As the World Falls Down. Favorite songs: As the World Falls Down, Loving the Alien, Space Oddity, Life on Mars, Buddha of Suburbia, Everyone Says Hi.

4. Garbage - I would say that the major weakness for this group is that they need more material. They have had ten years as a band, but very little music to show for it. What they have is excellent. I am pretty positive that I care about this band more than anyone else I know. Excellent lyrics, excellent vocals, excellent production. Favorite songs: Medication, Stupid Girl, The World is Not Enough, Drive You Home, I Think I'm Paranoid, So Like a Rose, Push It, Fix Me Now, Special.

3. Bjork - It feels wrong to leave out the umlaut, but you know who I am referring to. The most powerful vocalist on my list, she has a unique style that takes getting used to. I wasn't blown away when I first heard Human Behaviour in high school, but shortly after graduation I did get into her second album because of It's Oh So Quiet. I have bought a few imports of hers, not all, and I have, from what I know, just about everything she has ever released in the US. Actually, I have two of everything, because my wife also liked her before we got married. If a favorite band was about consistency, Bjork would be my number one, because I feel that she has been consistently excellent. Her haunting vocals and incredible productions can make you forget the truly remarkable lyrics. To tell the truth, based upon my mood, she is often my favorite. But I have been loyal to my two favorites for a bit longer. Favorite songs: Bachelorette, Hyperballed, Hunter, Big Time Sensuality, Possibly Maybe, Joga, Isobel, The Modern Things, Human Behaviour, Army of Me.

2. U2 - I first have to say that Sean pretty much speaks for a lot of U2 fans. I think we all love different eras of U2. I have all of their US albums, but I like only a select few songs out of the range from Unforgettable Fire to Zooropa. Within that range, I like almost everything they did, but outside of it, I am fairly ambivalent. U2 now is basically like Coldplay, a good band, but sort of a cold impersonation of earlier U2. Some would criticize me for leaving War out of my range, but outside of New Years Day and Sunday Bloody Sunday, I don't really have much to do with that album. At their best, U2 can still make me feel the way that I did when I used to listen to The Joshua Tree over and over, but I don't feel like a loyal fan given that I really don't care about anything they have done recently. Favorit songs: One, Bad, One Tree Hill, Running To Stand Still, Stay, Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses, All I Want Is You, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Pride, The Unforgettable Fire.

1. The Smashing Pumpkins - This is hard to explain, because it breaks almost every rule I have already talked about. First, I only love a certain range of their catalog, outside of that, I am fairly ambivalent. Second, unlike many of the other lead singers, Billy Corgan does not have a very pretty voice, it is appropriate, but to many people it is grating. Third, I don't listen as much as I used to, or even as much as I listen to several other groups on this list. But there is something about the Pumpkins. Zack knows that in my CD collection, at this point it hovers around 800, the Pumpkins are king, with well over thirty CDs. I have tried to get as many rarities and imports as I could. I love the lyrics, the production, the emotions that you can feel from Billy. And I feel ownership, I feel like no one I know is as into them as I am. (Although the same could be said for Texas.) I defend the Pumpkins when people try to devalue their influence on the music of the nineties, and when people overinflate the value of Nirvana. I am proud to be a Pumpkinhead. Favorite songs: Galapagos, Disarm, Frail and Bedazzled, Today, Zero, 33, Starla, Rocket, XYU, Landslide, Said Sadly, The Bells, Cherub Rock, Dreaming, The Aeroplane Flies High.

Honorable Mentions:
Texas - I don't listen to them much anymore, but still really enjoy.
AC/DC - Too much mediocrity. So much material for basically the same songs over and over.
Nirvana - I truly love Nirvana, but I don't feel like they are my band. I have always thought that the death of Kurt overshadowed the fact that Nirvana had been passed in prominence by Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins. That said, I love all three bands. (You Know You're Right is a great song to cap the Nirvana legacy.)
Britney Spears - I shouldn't be so ashamed for liking someone. Not entirely consistent, but overall, very listenable, just not "my band" material.
Madonna - See Britney Spears.
Beck - I am not the biggest Beck fan, although I loved Odelay in college and Sea Change is one of the best CDs of the past 5 years. An amazing album if you can relate.
Scissor Sisters - I am a huge fan, but they only have one album, so I really can only put them on the waiting list.
Sneaker Pimps - Only when they had Kelly Ali. There should be a law that if they hire a new lead singer of a different gender that the band name needs to change. Kelly Ali also had a solid solo album. Too bad they couldn't stay together.
REM - I have several of their albums, I enjoy them, but they are not "my band". My wife loves them, though, so they would definitely make her top 5.
Tenacious D - I love the D, obviously a bit of a gag band, but also legitimate. Need more material.
No Doubt/Gwen Stefani - I had an early bias against No Doubt because they were heavily Ska influenced, and I always absolutely hated ska (even when the rest of you were skankin' all the time). I have really come around on them. I particularly like anything that I feel is about Gwen's relationship with Tony Kanal. I am obsessed with their breakup story, and the resulting songs. It is unreal how many songs can come out of one event for one group.
The Neptunes - I have both NERD albums, but I still think their best stuff is reinventing the pop song.

This is relevant because I have been borrowing a CD from a coworker, Wayne, and he wanted to borrow some music from me. He is older, but he has fairly wide ranging tastes, given that many people over fifty don't really give any newer music a chance. I don't think he would be that into NIN or Rob Zombie, he does not like rap or hip hop, doesn't care for country, and he already has a ton of Eagles, etc. He also likely has Bowie, Who and Beach Boys, and he hates GNR. I am letting him borrow the albums because we are friends, but also because he is compiling a list of his albums, and I would like to borrow a bunch of those. So I figured I would take a decent snapshot of my collection, with these considerations in mind, so here is what I chose:

Smashing Pumpkins: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness - In the late 90's, I think that I would have chosen Siamese Dream to share, as it came out earlier, but if you are not as familiar with the genre, Siamese Dream is a bit harder with the guitars. Mellon Collie has a much wider range, so if you are put off by one song, you can always find another very different song.

Killers: Hot Fuss Limited Edition - This was one of my favorite albums of last year. Overall, I may have preferred Late Registration, but Wayne does not like hip hop or rap. (And I would have said Gwen Stefani, but that was 2004.)

Texas: White on Blonde - I will force this album on as many people as I possibly can. (In my defense, Zack is the only person I have ever shared this album with that did not love it.)

Evanescence: Fallen - A more emotional and subtle album than the initial single leads you to believe. Listening to this album after listening to Bring Me to Life reminds me of when I bought the Jewel album "Pieces of You" and the songs were all different versions than the radio, but more emotional and raw.

Scissor Sisters: Scissor Sisters - This goes without saying... This is my favorite album of the decade so far. I am surprised that I don't have the European version by now. If you don't have this, get it. Their next album comes out this summer, and it has a collaboration with Elton John.

Pearl Jam: Vitalogy - I considered three albums to represent PJ. No Code might be the most accessible, as it is quite folksy. Ten is a bit too confrontational and of its time to serve as an intro. The obvious problem with Vitalogy is that it is also their most experimental album, but it has such a varied voice that it is hard not to choose.

Bjork: Post - This is probably her best collection of songs, and again it has a good variety, but for my tastes I now prefer the more unified voices of Homogenic and Debut. That said, if after hearing Army of Me and Hyper-Ballad, you aren't blown away, then Bjork just isn't for you.

U2: Zooropa - This is more of a personal pick. I don't know if he has any U2, and if not, the Joshua Tree would be the most representational, but Zooropa was that happy moment where they infused electronica without becoming an electronica band. As I have said before, this was their last great album. Their recent effort is painful because it pales next to the stretch from War through Zooropa that includes five outstanding studio albums.

Madonna: Greatest Hits Volume 2 - I enjoy this album much more than the Immaculate Collection, and as much as it shocks me, she was actually a much better musician during this phase of her career.

Metallica: S&M - This is the double album they recorded in the Berkeley Community Theatre while we were going to Berkeley. I have regretted not buying the ticket to go see this for so long. (The tickets were uber-expensive for a student on fin aid, but I remember that I could have afforded one for myself.) Many purists don't care for Symphonica, but it is truly the best live album I have ever owned. In most cases, the S&M version is better than the original. That is the mark of a GREAT live album.

Sneaker Pimps: Becoming X - The album with Kelli Ali, truly one of the most beautiful albums of the decade.

Garbage: Version 2.0 - This was an easy choice. Their most accessible album, the most varied, and their best. Six songs on the album have been my favorite song at one point or another.

Beck: Sea Change - I thing that by the end of the decade, this and Scissor Sisters will still be in my top 5 albums of the decade. The section of "Guess I'm Doing Fine," "Lonesome Tears," and "Lost Cause" is the best three song album segment that I can think of right now for on any album.

And right now, I am listening to Keane: Hopes and Fears, but I am not going to have him borrow this right now. (But it is a great album as well.)

Let me know what you thought of my choices...

King Icons

The following are the possibilities for my new icon. I have chosen the second one, and if the right pictures ever come up, I will select something else. Let me know what you think of my choice.

Return of the King

Well, it has been quite a while since I last made a post, or any comments on other blogs. For most of the last two months I have been watching the Olympics and watching movies. I soon want to do a post about my thoughts on the Olympics, even if it is a bit delayed. I watched about 60-70 hours of Olympic coverage, possibly more, and I have thoughts on all of the events.

I also want to write small reviews for all of the films that I have watched. In the last two months, I watched around 70 films, and I want to make sure to get all of my thoughts down about all of them.

Also, in the last two months I have gotten 8 new DS games, and I want to review those on virtualfanboy. I also will be soon getting my virtualfanboy design fixed to include better links. And maybe I will get my wifi working.

For now I want to make sure that everyone has watched Heat Vision and Jack, the tv pilot from 1999 that was directed and produced by Ben Stiller and stars Jack Black, Owen Wilson, and Ron Silver. We just watched it, and it is good, but it may only be available for a limited time if Fox wants to issue a Cease and Desist order. Synopsis: Jack Black is a super intelligent renegade astronaut and Owen Wilson is his talking motorcycle. Fox has lost its soul. In the early 90's, this would have been on right after Married... with Children.

In other Fox news, as I am sure everyone is already aware, the Showtime deal fell through, so Arrested Development is officially dead.

Finally, a reminder to Zack to check out the video for the Rah Band's, "Clouds Across the Moon" over on MTV.com Overdrive. I believe that you were the one who made me listen to "Mexican Radio" in college when even you didn't know why you had spent all of that time trying to find it. Now that stupid song has burrowed itself into my brain. You owe me! And I realize that most people hate MTV, which is really another topic entirely. There are seriously a ton of good videos on Overdrive. As many people know, I am in many ways the personification of the MTV generation. Between Top of the Pops, MTV, VH1, MTV2, MTV Hits, and VH1 Classic, I have watched probably more videos than anyone I have ever met. I am sure that music videos are probably the single greatest factor in how I developed my tastes in entertainment. I was an MTV watcher for all of the best moments: 500 Greatest Videos of All Time (I saw all but 5), the MTV Video Awards of the 90s (especially the 1992 show with performances by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Guns 'N Roses all at their absolute peak), the hours of music everyday, great shows like The Tom Green Show, all the nights of late night videos, and in 1991 on the day when Operation Desert Shield turned to Operation Desert Storm when they played 24 hours of Imagine, followed by Give Peace a Chance (his son's version), and then a random MTV song (for variety). I get Rolling Stone and Blender, and I keep up on a lot of music goings on, but I would say that I learned about more great bands through MTV than anywhere else. I was also there when MTV betrayed their audience, time and again: Starting with a mix of New Wave, punk and music that would eventually become adult contemporary, they moved towards pure pop music, then towards hair metal, then alternative, followed by the crappy alternative imitators, which led to the take over by gangsta rap, followed by bling rap (my own term), which led to nu-metal and TRL pop, followed by a firm rise of hip hop and R&B, then a more recent rise of rock. Most people forget about the fact that by favoring a new era, they were abandoning another. When 80s metal and 80s party rap were replaced by alternative music and gangsta rap respectively, several people felt betrayed. Personally, I probably felt most betrayed when the format abandoned alternative music in favor of rap, even though I have always been a rap fan, and then when they abandoned my generation completely with the rise of TRL culture. Their feelings were that they needed to follow youth, as twenty somethings turned to adults. This is the same problem that the video game industry faced and is facing. In video games, the average and mean ages of gamers has been constantly on the rise, even if the stereotype of a gamer is still a young teen.

The other major betrayal that happened with MTV was when they started abandoning their original all music format in favor of other programming. In their defense, MTV has had some of the most interesting original programming ever: The Tom Green Show, True Life, The Andy Milonakis Show, Wonder Showzen, Laguna Beach, Real World, JackAss, Wildboyz, The State, the Maxx, Aeon Flux, Beavis and Butthead, Loveline, and House of Style. That said, I always wished that there were more videos, and many people did, but that is not the way to keep the ratings up, like it or not. Nowadays, MTV Hits and VH1 Classic show over 90% videos, so you can go there at this point. On a side note, G4 is going through a similar transition where they are getting rid of most of their core programs (they are a video game network) and adopting shows that would typically appear on SpikeTV. G4 feels more egregious because there are already networks that cover non-video game topics in this era of 500 channels, but there is only one video game channel.

Anyway, here a few videos to check out at Overdrive (if you like, I can always make more recommendations):

Rah Band - Clouds Across the Moon
Garbage: I Think I'm Paranoid, Stupid Girl, Bleed Like Me, Cherry Lips
Amerie - 1 Thing (Non Movie Version or Remix)
Beck - Lost Cause, The New Pollution, Guess I'm Doing Fine
Loudon Wainright III - T.S.D.H.A.V.
Tenacious D - Tribute
Weezer - Perfect Situation
Gwen Stefani - Cool, What You Waiting For
Bjork - Big Time Sensuality, Bachelorette, Joga, Hyperballad
Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
The Killers - All These Things that I've Done
R.E.M. - Man on the Moon, Shiny Happy People, Star 69, Nightswimming
White Stripes - Seven Nation Army, The Hardest Button to Button
Kanye West - Touch the Sky
Beyonce - Crazy in Love, Naughty Girl
Metallica - Turn the Page, King Nothing
U2 - Even Better than the Real Thing, A Sort of Homecoming
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic
Mystikal - Danger, Shake It Fast
Cibo Matto - Sugar Water
Annie Lennox - Why, No More I Love You's
Modest Mouse - Float On
Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime, Wild Wild Life
Madonna - Drowned World/Substitute for Love, Rain, Deeper and Deeper
Ciara - Oh
Rachael Yamagata - Worn Me Down
Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
Queen - Under Pressure
Britney Spears - My Prerogative, Toxic, I'm a Slave 4 U

Some artists are better represented on Overdrive than others: There are almost no videos for Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, David Bowie, the Who, the Beastie Boys, Texas, the Beach Boys, Duran Duran, Michael Jackson, and Guns 'N Roses, even though these are all artists with a large number of videos. Michael Jackson has enough videos that they once had a countdown of his top 50 videos, and even at that time in the early 90s, he had several more videos that did not make the countdown. All that and he has only 2 videos on Overdrive.

Oh, and to answer the question that wasn't asked, I think that the most influential artists in videos (in a positive sense; sorry Puffy) since the debut of MTV were (in order): Michael Jackson, Madonna, Bjork, the Beastie Boys, and Nirvana. It is a shame that even though MJ has received some of their awards, MTV shied away from awarding him all of their biggest awards, because no one has had more of an influence on the genre than he has. (And in case you were wondering what Bjork and the Beastie Boys are doing there, they have both always embrassed the cutting edge directors, and took more video risks than anyone else, really improving the art for everyone.)

3 Comedies

Hey everyone, happy new year! I have been thinking a lot about my blog lately, and I would like to do more quick hits. It will be hard to do, so be patient. Also, I have been spending a lot of time playing new DS games, so I have not spent much time doing anything else at night. I will do mini reviews shortly on Virtualfanboy.

Today, I just wanted to talk about some of the movies I have watched lately. Backstory: We have digital cable, so I watch quite a few movies, including many on HBO and the Encore channels. I would like to start offering my impressions of movies shortly after I see them. This weekend I saw three comedies.

First, I saw Dodgeball, which was probably the funniest of the films. It reminded me a lot of Zoolander, and it was a great vehicle for both Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller. A very quotable film, I could see this being a classic. Definitely not overrated like Old School, which seemed too forced.

The next film that I saw was Along Came Polly, which was funny, but not that funny, and a good film, but not that good. I enjoyed watching it, but I wouldn't really recommend it either. I think it is a bad sign when you feel that when the main character has to make a choice between two people at the end of the film, that you feel that he made the wrong choice. Seriously, Debra Messing's character was perfect for him; he had no chemistry at all with Polly. I think that made everything seem a little forced.

The third film I saw was 50 First Dates, which was funny; not Dodgeball funny, but still funny. It was the most heartwarming of the films by far, and you never really suspected the motivation of the protagonist. I think that anyone who sees this will instantly compare it to The Wedding Singer, which is a valid comparison. This was the movie of the weekend, with the assistance of my cold, that made me cry. (I have a bit of a cold, and my eyes have been watery all day. Not fun. Hope I get better for work tomorrow.) I might have cried even without the cold. I absolutely loved The Wedding Singer, but I think that this is easily as good of a film. Some people are only interested in the sillier stuff that Sandler does, which is fine. I loved Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Waterboy, and even Little Nicky. But his romantic comedies are some of the best, and I am a bit of a fan of romantic comedies. (I reserve the right to deny that statement at any time.) And while on the subject, anyone who has not seen Punch Drunk Love needs to see it. A definite thinking man's film.

Anyway, hope everyone had a great holiday season.

School's Out for Summer!

I am on vacation until I must report back on December 12, 2005! Awesomeness! I have not had a true vacation, or a non-holiday, off since April. (I did take some time off when my dad visited, but it was his vacation and I had to entertain.)

Fun times and unpacking boxes of books!

Hanging Out

If anybody wants to hang out or anything, just let me know or something.

Oh, and I read this great blogpost regarding G.A.M.E. at this wonderful site that I frequent.

I will be doing a lot of posts next week to get everyone caught up.

Comics Feedback

Let me know which illustrations and comics you prefer, and I will go more in that direction. Positive and negative feedback is welcome. I will be working on my comics more this weekend. (And by the way, it may be possible that I drew all of Stix at work while on conference calls one day... I am not saying I did, I just could have.)

Stix

The writing may be hard to read on the browser, so just click on the image to enlarge it.

Gingerbread Cannibal

Pimp My Cat... Please!

Fun with Bananas

This is my first in a series of cartoons that I will be doing in a sort of competition with Carolyn. This theme is Fun with Bananas.

He Had a Name...

I have taken a bit of a break lately from writing in my blog. Not really any major reason, really: my DVR is always full, I have been tired, Zack and Lydia were gone leaving me with basically no audience. And I didn't know how to write this. This is not the last post I will write about death...

His name was Timothy Walters. I didn't really know him, not really. He worked at my company, in my department for the last month, maybe month and a half. My department has about 20-30 people, but because of the nature of my position, I usually have contact with everybody. As a mortgage company, it is of the greatest importance that we have people that are well versed in compliance, and he was the first ever compliance officer exclusively for our department. About two weeks ago, a situation came up that I felt would be a good opportunity to see what he felt about a situation. It was a bit of a dispute between a few different departments, so I figured he would be a good mediator. He seemed nice, and we exchanged a few emails on the subject, which I flagged for followup, as he was handling it. In his first reply, he said that he would like me to go to his office and speak with him about the situation. Our mutual boss must have told him that that would be impossible given that he was in New York and I was in California, so he sent me another email saying that he would handle the situation himself.

On Monday morning a week ago, Carolyn drove me to work, because she had to take her car into the shop. I was at work about twenty minutes earlier than normal, so after I had booted up my computer and gone to get my first cup of coffee, I found out that I had a meeting scheduled. This was an optional meeting, and I had already said that I probably would not make it, but given how early I was, I was able to get into the meeting just fine. While people were still logging into the meeting, someone said, "As you all have probably heard by now, Tim Walters passed away this weekend. He was killed in an accident going home from work on Friday night." Someone asked where he sat, which was two doors down from someone else. And that was the last of it. The meeting was useless, so I left early for another meeting that I had committed to before I had committed to my first meeting. The second meeting was pointless too. I thought about Tim Walters, and I searched for details online. I looked at all of the NY papers, but there weren't many local stories, and even fewer deaths. I knew nothing about Tim Walters, so I didn't know his age. I read stories about a grandmother and grandson killed by a hit and run; a married couple in their late 70's who died in a car crash; a woman held hostage and raped for 12 hours on Halloween; a 39 year old man who intervened in a bar fight and was killed; mistaken identity and hit and runs; no Tim Walters. (I later found out that he did not die in New York, which is why he was not in their papers.)

I told each of my colleagues about his death, and each of them had the same two questions: Who is that and how did he die? Some asked about his family, but I knew nothing about him. I found out from one person that she had met him while in New York, and that he was in his 40's. Every conversation ended the same: We talked for a little while, and then there was a pause, and then a completely new subject that came up. And that is what got me... When I told people that he was in our department they were always surprised. The first dirty secret is that we want to know how something that happened could have affected us personally, to what degree were we affected. The second dirty secret is that we want the details, even though they are immaterial; it didn't matter what type of accident it was, because he was still dead. But it does matter. Maybe our brains need to see it, to recreate it themselves. And the third dirty secret is that we move on. We have to move on, so we devote just enough time to consider it, then we move on. People talked to me about my weekend, and their weekend, and football. For one person, I switched the topic back, just to bring it up that we started talking about football seamlessly right after we had talked about a man's life. He had a name, he had a family. I read dozens of headlines when I was looking for him, and that is what it all boils down to: We are interested to one degree or another in the various headlines, but they aren't all as important to us. For some of us, the latest political news is important, but I think that most people would rather hear about who is fucking who in their neighborhood, and when the next PTA function or swingers meeting is. And that is fine, and that is good, and that is the way it should be, but it really makes you think about your place in the world, should something happen...

I sent my condolences to my boss immediately. She sent a message to her New York employees and my direct supervisor, who forwarded the message to those of us that she immediately supervises. I openly wondered whether the big wigs would send out a company-wide email; he had only been there a short time, but there is no way of knowing immediately what projects he had been working on. Had I not heard in the meeting, I would certainly have attempted to follow up with him on the issue we were working on. When I wrote my condolences, I could not bring myself to say that he seemed competant, or professional, or nice; I had not known him long enough. I could assume he wasn't a douche, but it would cheapen the words to me if I said things that I didn't mean or couldn't verify. It doesn't take much restraint for anyone but a complete jackass to not write heinous things to me in our first email exchange. In the evening, HR told me that he had been killed by a hit and run driver on Saturday night. The next day, I found out that they were wrong, that he had been killed on his way home from work. The bigs did send out an email to everyone, which I thought was nice. Apparantly our president had recommended him for the job, so I wondered whether this had anything to do with him getting the mass email treatment. In any case, I thought it was a nice touch to have a few nice words said by some people who knew him a little bit. He had a wife and two teenage kids. The bigs established a scholarship fund for the kids. He lived in New Jersey and took the train and was killed while crossing the street to a park and ride. I didn't know him, not really, but I know him a little better now. I talked to my boss about the issue I had been corresponding with him about; I had already gotten the situation to a stable spot while awaiting final verdict, so we decided to just let the situation die out.

So, I had wanted to write about Timothy, but I hadn't really had the guts to put it in words. I am not really sad, but it makes you think. For me he was a somebody; for some people, he was everything. I hadn't and I still haven't yet read about Zack and Lydia's trip, so I logged on. And then I read the headline on MSN.com, under the sports section: WWE wrestling star found dead in hotel room. At first I was touched that they would put it under the sports section, as people rarely consider wrestling to be part of sports, but I was scared to click the link, because if it was on the front page, I knew I would know who it was.

His name was Eddie Guerrero. As far as the WWE heirarchy goes, Eddie was definitely in the top twenty active names. I know already what most people think of wrestling, I have even thought it myself. But just because the punches are pulled and the outcomes are scripted doesn't mean that it is not real. There is real pain, real injury, and so much else that is real in every match. I am not trying to win any converts, but to see how a wrestler ends up at the end of their career, and to see how their lives are lived... A wrestler has a shorter lifespan than any other professional sport in America, and they are more likely to suffer a serious injury. There is substance abuse of all sorts. Eddie himself was a recovering addict, four years sober. He had wrestled for twenty years, and was only the second Hispanic WWE champion. He was found dying in his hotel room by his nephew, Chavo Guerrero, also a star in the WWE.

Eddie was having a major resurgence in the WWE. After a brief stint as a heel, where he was dark and brooding, he had returned as a face again, as a tag team partner to the WWE champion Batista. They had great chemistry together, and I know that Eddie was a big part of the storylines for a good time into the future.

Eddie was a wrestler, a great one. We don't know yet how he died. He was fun and charismatic, and a crowd favorite driving to the ring in a lowrider. Latino Heat (his nickname) dying in the prime of his career is devasting.

If you want to learn more about wrestlers, please visit the following links, especially the meticulously researched Gary Will site. You will probably see some names you know. You can also watch RAW or Smackdown this week for tributes. My thoughts are with you tonight, Eddie.

DeansPlanet Dead Wrestler Tribute

Gary Will's Deceased Pro Wrestlers

Their names were Timothy Walters and Eduardo Guerrero.

My Halloween Costume

This year's costume was born of the desire to wear something really comfortable to work that I could also wear when I went to pay my Target bill after work. I didn't even bother calling my costume anything like football player; when asked, I just said that I wanted to wear something comfortable to work.

I also had another idea that was pretty cool, but couldn't work out for the entire day, so please see below where I dressed as a ghost.

Now that I have posted these photos, look for more photos in the near future.

USC 34, Notre Dame 31: College Game of the Year

Note to everyone who reads my blog: I know that you hate football, but try to read this anyway. If you hate it, let me know...

I just finished watching the USC vs. Notre Dame game, which was so good I had to do a post about it. Full disclosure: Besides Cal, USC is my favorite team. Even when they were not that good, I always enjoyed the games we played against them, and I feel that they are the all time greatest college team. Going into this game, USC had a 27 game win streak which includes winning the last two national championships (last year's outright, the year before it should have been outright) and they have last year's Heisman trophy winner, QB Matt Leinart, and last year's team MVP, RB Reggie Bush, considered by most people to be the best player in college football. Leading up to the game, even though USC had a 27 game winning streak and Notre Dame has already lost once this year, most of the experts were all picking Notre Dame to win, and the ESPN.com voters voted 59% in favor of Notre Dame. This game was played in Notre Dame with the loudest crowd I have heard in a very long time, but the weather was very good, 66 degrees and sunny.

The first half saw USC playing as bad as I have seen them playing since they were beaten by Cal, which was their last defeat. In this game Matt Leinart threw two interceptions, including one in the endzone, and he had only thrown three all year until this game. The sole bright spot was Reggie Bush, who averaged over 10 yards a carry over the course of the game. The whole game, the announcers kept on talking about time of possession, because Notre Dame had the ball almost twice as long as USC. This is meaningless though, because USC is a quick scoring team, so they just don't NEED the ball for very long. Both defenses played extraordinarily well both halves; there were several big sacks and good defensive breakups. For me, the first half was marred by two calls by the refs: One was when they gave a first down to Notre Dame on a reception where the receiver was clearly not in bounds (which was proven by the replay on TV, but was clear before that) and also by a penalty after a fumble by Notre Dame. Notre Dame fumbled on third down, and even though there was lots of pushing and shoving, and I even saw Notre Dame players shoving the ref, a USC player was called for a fifteen yard penalty, which instead of giving Notre Dame a fourth down on their 7 yard line, it gave them first down. This is one of the frustrating things about college officiating; they care more about making the home crowd happy than about making the right calls. Because of the first penalty, and because of poor punt return coverage by USC, Notre Dame lead 21-14 at the half.

But no one feels safe with a lead on USC at the half. They outscore everyone in the second half, but this is especially evident in the other two games this year in which they were down at the half, against Oregon and Arizona State; in those two games, USC outscored their opponents by a combined 70-7 in the second half.

So the second half arrives, and USC ties it up at 21-21, then Notre Dame scores a field goal to make it 21-24 in favor of Notre Dame. USC responds with another touchdown in the fourth quarter to make it 28-24. Notre Dame scores with about 2 minutes left in the game to put themselves ahead 28-31. So, a few plays later, it is fourth down and 8 for USC at their own 26 yard line, meaning that they have to get a first down AND still make it down and score. Matt Leinart throws to his off-season roommate for a 61 yard play, giving USC a first down at about the 13 yard line. A couple of rushes later, they pick up the first down, but they still have 2 yards and only 22 seconds left in the game. Matt Leinart rushes with the ball to the outside, and here is where the game gets crazy. At the end of his rush, he jumps, and the ball gets knocked out of his hands straight off of the field, but this was really close to the goal. One ref called it a touchdown, although it wasn't, and another ref started to talk with that ref, and in the meantime, the clock ran out on the game, and the game ended. The Notre Dame fans started running out on the field thinking they had won against the number one team in the country, and so did the Notre Dame coach. Because the ball had been knocked out of bounds with 7 seconds left, 7 seconds were put back on the clock, and the fans were cleared off the field, and the Notre Dame coach was scowling as he left the field. I was actually thinking that USC would run a play with him on the field so that they could have an automatic penalty against Notre Dame, but that didn't happen. The whole time during the controversy, which wasn't a contoversy at all by the time it got sorted out, it was just confusing to the people in the stadium, the announcers were going on and on about how lucky Matt Leinart was that the ball was hit out of his hands because the clock would have run out otherwise, which is absurd because he was in the endzone a split second after the ball left his hands, so if the ball had remained in his hands he would have had a touchdown. One thing though, even though the announcers did seem to take Notre Dame's position on a couple of items, overall they were pretty neutral, which is nice. I hate living in Sacramento and listening to the announcers kiss their ass during every play, and even watching John Madden on Monday night football with his complete and total lovefests with some teams and players. He and Tom Brady should just get a room together and save the rest of us from hearing about how he is so great. So, back to the game, USC went out to spike the ball with seven seconds so that they could attempt the field goal to tie the game to take the game to overtime. Except they didn't spike the ball, and they attempted another quarterback sneak instead, with Matt Leinart doing some good spinning at the line to take it in for a touchdown. This was a really gutsy call, because if they would not have scored, they would have lost automatically. USC got a 15 yard penalty for celebrations, which cost them the extra point, and then Notre Dame tried to do a Cal-Stanfurd (spelling intentional) band play to score, but it didn't work, and the game ended.

Awesome finish to a game that was good anyways. Both teams showed that they are deserving heavyweights. When Texas is out fighting creampuffs, USC is showing that it is the champion for a reason. Great game, and if you are still reading this, thank you. (Please comment if you made it through this post.)

ESPN recap of the game.

Happy Tailiversary

Rather than do a card this year, I decided to do a blog post about my wife, Carolyn, aka kittyinabasket. Today is our 2 year anniversary, yesterday was our 4.5 year dating anniversary, and we have known each other for almost 9 years. I remember when I first met her, I thought she was cute and fun. She was always quiet, but I enjoyed spending time talking to her. I think because I was always the new person growing up, I have a pretty keen eye for the quiet person in the crowd, and I know that they have something to say as well. She would often spend the night at Heather's house, and I would look forward to talking to her, usually when Heather was off showering (unless she was demanding that Carolyn be in there to talk to her). I remember Carolyn giggling a lot, and always having to go home early. She had the strictest curfew, so she was always gone soon after she got there. As it is when anyone leaves a group that is hanging out, the mood changes, whether that is good or bad, it is just different. I remember that she had the prettiest hair I had ever seen, maybe tied with Tony, my sister's ex, but he had really great hair, so to be his equal is nothing to be ashamed of. (Now I would say that she is the definite winner because he has cut his hair significantly shorter.)

Situations as they were, I graduated, moved to LA, and found that work was lacking due to a screenwriter's guild strike. So, broke in almost every conceivable way, I stumbled home to Roseville and lived with my mom for a month. I wasn't feeling well, so I asked my sister if I could move in with her in Tucson, and that is where I was for 6 or 7 months. I still don't know about my stay in Tucson, and it was nearly 5 years ago. My sister was going through troubles in her marriage, which led to divorce soon after I left. It was inevitable, but hard to be there for. I could have done more to help her out while I was there, but I guess after a while you just get used to the way things are, and you really don't see how things should be... My relationship with my nephew deteriorated pretty heavily while I was there. I know he was young, but it doesn't take much wisdom to learn to be cruel. I think he is doing fine now, but we don't talk like we used to. When he was a baby, I used to imagine us being great friends, but I know now what there is that separates the adolescent from the adult, and why we don't consider you an adult just because you graduate or you can smoke or sign your life to the army. To me, becoming an adult is all about failing supremely, about finding out that there isn't justice or even a market for justice, that despite what they have tried to shield you from all of your life, life isn't fair. You can know that life isn't fair by what you read in your textbooks or whatever, but you can only really learn it through experience. You learn to embrace it. I love big brother.

In Tucson, I got myself together, even though in some ways my relationship with my sister and nephew have never been the same. I think that I can believe that the largest part of our semi-rift is merely geography. Not everyone calls their family everyday...

Let's go back in time a little... In March of 2000, I had not been on a date in a while, and so I wanted a practice date, and so I asked Carolyn. (I think that I asked e-lor or Heather to ask her, to further indicate that it was practice.) In truth, it was not practice at all, it was very real, as I had built up a major crush on Carolyn over time. Carolyn accepted, but then reconsidered, and the date never materialized. So, from there, a lot happens. A lot. Then we are in Tucson, and I have my act together again, doing fine. I called e-lor, we still spoke back then, and I finally told her that I had a crush on Carolyn. That same week, Carolyn told Heather that she had a crush on me. Heather and e-lor talk, ideas fuse. So, in March 2001, I decided to return to California. Carolyn was having a birthday party in San Francisco with the whole gang, and I wanted to be there. We drove for two days, and an hour outside of Sacramento, with the party starting in about 45 minutes, we had a blowout. My sister changed the tire, but by the time we got home, they had stopped waiting for me. I had a change of clothes and a present ready. I was extremely disappointed to start like that, but I had been busy in Tucson, and I had researched approximately 45 restaurants for our first actual date. Obeying the golden rule of dating, I chose Esquire Grille. (Golden Rule: Find out what she hates and what she loves and choose neither one; if you choose what she hates, she will have an overall negative impression of everything; if you choose what she loves, you are catering to her comfort zone, which is not where you want a first date to be. If she is in her favorite place, she is on what Sun Tzu would consider to be the higher ground, and you should never start off in that way. If anything, you should try to make the ground appear level, but give yourself a slightly higher position; in this case I ordered for her, so that she would try something new. Remember, if she is not trying anything new, then why are you even on a date with her? Love is a battlefield.) It was a good meal; we shared a steak for two with some delicious potatoes. I remember how cute she was all night. She was so smiley and fun. We had a good time that evening...

I could recount a hundred different stories about Carolyn, and I could probably elucidate further on why I feel the way that I do for her, but I will try to keep the rest of this brief. We married two years ago, and I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you were on that day. I look forward to talking to you everyday, even on those days when I am a brutish beast and I don't want to hear from anyone. I still find you beautiful, and I am constantly relearning what it means to kiss you. I enjoy playing with your hair and looking at your eyes. I like to hear how your day is going, and I look forward to your calls. I miss you when you aren't around. I hate to disappoint you. I talk about you constantly at work. I want to try harder because of you. You don't just make me want to be a better man, you make me a better man. I am glad I like your family as much as I do, and I am even more happy that they like me. I enjoy cuddling with you on the couch. Because of you, I have tried to do two things: Never go to bed angry, and try not to leave without saying goodbye, preferably with a hug, a kiss and an I love you. You never know what life will bring... I try to provide for you now, so that you don't have to worry later. I love the great bear debates and the lots of little things that are just between us.

I love you, Carolyn, and I want the world (or at least the one or two other people who read this blog) to know it. I love you and that won't ever change. Happy 2nd tailiversary...

Papa's Got a Whole New Blog

I have started a second blog devoted exclusively to video games. Both blogs will continue to be updated frequently, so check both if you are interested, but this blog will be for everything that has nothing to do with video games.

For my other blog, click on this link, and let me know what you think of it.

virtualfanboy

For now, I am going to go to bed. Please check out the new blog.

New Computer!!!

Well, we finally got our new computer! It is setup in the living room, so I can now post to the blog without travelling to Carolyn's office. Her office is now going to be a craftroom, but it will still have the other computer. Look for several posts from me from now on, although I will have to learn how to prevent Elway from jumping on our keyboard.

My Sincerest Apologies

Okay, so I have been completely absent from my own blog for about a month and a half. In that time, I have done quite a few things, but the main reason for the lack of further posts is that I am in the process of purchasing a new computer. Now, our current computer is just fine for blogging, don't get me wrong, but it is insufficient for almost everything else. More importantly, it is located in the solitary confinement ward of our house, in Carolyn's office. Our new computer is going to have a nice central location in our living room so that one could theoretically use the computer while watching television. (That is how we had it set up when we were in the apartment, and it worked pretty well. Until the new computer comes, my posts will definitely be fairly sporadic.

As for the second order of business, if you are reading this post, you are probably one of four people: Heather, Carolyn, e-Lor, or Zack. This part is directed at Zack, but will be written for the benefit of all to read. Zack mentioned on his blog that he is interested in attending the Classic Gaming Expo. Given that I had gone back and forth in my head for a very long time about whether or not I wanted to go to the Expo alone, ultimately deciding in favor of being lazy, I was eager to go if Zack is going. The slight snag in this plan is that even though I have been reading Zack's blog for two months, I have not had the guts to write to him to let him know that I exist. Background: Zack was one of my best friends in college, even though he started two years after I did. We had a lot of great times together, and even got together once after I graduated and did a fun road trip. But then I lost track of him. I tried to invite him to my wedding, I wanted him to be a groomsman, but I only got ahold of his mom or aunt or someone like that. Every few months I do a search for a few past friends, Zack included, in hopes that I can do some catching up. Anyway, I always enjoyed his company, so I guess that as long as I never contact him, I can imagine that he enjoyed hanging out with me too, and that he would know who I am if we were talking to each other. (It may sound silly, but there is still a big part of me that is that kid who is always moving around, leaving school after a year, and then calling old friends and finding out that they don't even remember who you are.) So, I want to catch up with Zack, so I wrote him a message letting him know that I would like to go to the Expo, but I used a pseudonym. So, he has replied to the message on his site, naturally wanting to know who is contacting him...

So, right now I have spent a bunch of time deciding what to do, and I am going to go ahead and let him know it is me, because otherwise would be way too paranoid. If you are Zack, you remember this happening already, because that is how you found this blog and is why you are reading this now. If nothing else, it has been a pleasure reading up on your exploits of the past year. Hope to hear from you soon.

All a man's got is the integrity of his work

After my last, lengthy post, I am going to have a links only day, although I cannot promise to be light-hearted.

Black People Love Us! - A nice ironic parody website.

Caddy Hacks - Golf, the Ultimate Symbol of Republican Corruption - This is an interesting Slate article about the corrupting role of golf in today's Washington, particularly among the GOP. There is an interesting section about how Democrats are vilified for not loving NASCAR and hunting, which points out that most Republicans are the same, but are even more likely to succumb to countryclub elitism. (I like not being neutral.)

Not Just an Angry Black Man - This is a belated link, but an important one for me. On June 13, 2004, Ralph Wiley died at the age of 52. You probably didn't know who he was, and I can't say that I knew him personally, but he did touch my life each week. He was a writer for ESPN, covering several sports, but primarily basketball. Ironically, he died during the NBA finals. While Bill Simmons was always considered the posterboy for ESPN columnists, Ralph had his own niche. He usually wrote single topic articles that are argued a point, most often a point about the role of race in sports culture, but on many other topics as well. He wasn't as controversial as Hunter S. Thompson, also a writer for ESPN and also recently deceased, but to me he could always stir more emotions. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that he wrote human interest stories, it was that he found the conflict in any situation, and he argued his side. I probably agreed with him barely over half the time, but I always read him. By the end of his life, out of all of the columnists from ESPN, I only bothered to read his and Bill's. The link leads to one of the better pieces written about Ralph in the week after his death. Someday, I hope to read Ralph's most successful book, "Why Black People Tend to Shout." (And for all of you Berkeley people, Ralph Wiley was close friends with Dr. Harry Edwards. Not having him as a professor is one of my biggest regrets from my days in school.) While he has done excellent work about Barry Bonds and others, if you read only one of Ralph's articles, read this one, White Magic in the NBA, his last column. In it he discusses the differences between Larry Brown and Phil Jackson, ultimately deciding that Larry Brown is the better coach of the two. I may never have been more angry with a column of his before, but I read it and paid attention, even if I disagree with nearly every element of his argument. You may also recognize the first sentence, "All a man's got is the integrity of his work." I have the phrase posted in my office and on this blog, and I have lived my life with it in mind ever since his death.

Comic Covers - This is just a simple link with comic book covers.

The First Post: Nihilism and Übermensch

I have struggled for some time with whether or not to start a blog, or to go back to having a website. It has been about eight years since I created my website, and I have never really gotten around to creating another.

For the past year, I have felt more and more compelled to action, but I have to confess: mere compulsion does not prompt me to take action. My catalyst for this was a search, a simple search like I have performed dozens of times in the past. I wanted to find my friends again...

I like to think that friendship, true friendship, never really dies. You may not talk as much, you may lose contact, but you always remain open in some way that you wouldn't be towards a complete stranger. That is why I never gave up on getting back in touch with Heather, and why I still haven't given up on e-lor. Does anyone call her that anymore? Anyone that she talks to?

So, on my searches on Friday I find nothing about Naeem, just as usual. I found some interesting articles quoting Nisala, and a photo from 2002 at his dojo. I didn't look for Bill, I wonder if his cell number still works. I have been emailing Jill lately. I still haven't search for Kelly or Dan or David from when we were kids. I don't know if I would search for Matt. But, I did find a link on someone else's webpage that took me to the blog of Zack.

It took verification through various landmarks mentioned in the blog and the pictures on Lydia's webpage, but it is Zack. I haven't contacted him yet. It made me think. I was a bit envious that he had had a blog for a year now, but it wasn't/isn't that I am really jealous. I just feel that I have been missing something. Don't get me wrong, as you will hopefully learn, I have the most wonderful wife in the world, she has a hard time seeing it sometimes. I also have a nice house that feels like a home. We have a cute little kitten named Elway. I have a job that I sometimes actually enjoy. I have more video games, CDs and DVDs than I ever would have thought. But I am still missing something.

I miss friends and I miss having a creative outlet. I was envious because there was no reason that I should have waited this long to start. I have plans for this space, but it is all about babysteps, and the first is the biggest. If you are reading this, thank you. Please comment if you are here, even if you are just stopping by. And if you are a friend, and you have somehow found me, let me know.

Okay, so you may wonder why if I am living for the moment, I would wait from Friday all the way until Tuesday to actually take action, so here is the day by day breakdown: Friday afternoon, I find the link and think that it is probably Zack; Friday evening and Saturday, I spend quite a bit of time verifying that it is actually Zack; Saturday, I encourage Carolyn to start a blog at the same time as me so that we have something to share; Sunday, I go to create my blog but the name I want, kingofmyworld, is already taken, so we create Carolyn's blog instead; Sunday and Monday, I come up with 100 names for Carolyn and I to evaluate as possible blog titles; Monday, we narrow down the titles to three (that story will be told later) and eventually settle on kingofallcosmos, the character from Katamari Damacy; Monday night, I create the blog, but am too tired to make a post; Tuesday night, I force myself to post.

(Zack, if you are reading this, I want to thank you. Whether or not you choose to keep in touch, thank you for providing a catalyst.)

So, I do check out the internet quite a bit, and for my first link, I figured what better way to remind people of me than with a review of Chuck Palahniuk's latest work. In Chuck Palahniuk - The Macho Novelist makes a Leap of Faith, the author criticizes Palahniuk for abandoning the soundbite-worthy nihilism of his earlier work for shock horror. A good article, but as is often the case with Slate, the Fray (the Slate forums) is where the best action is. In the letter at the bottom of the page, W_H_Sleeman says:

Horror, at it's most existential sense, is the flip side to Palahniuk's sort of nihilism; having discovered the emptiness at the heart of existence, one discovers that there is no grand freedom to recraft oneself. The devastating truth is that those "Übermensch" attributes one had hoped to personify belong not to the individual but to the universe itself, whose indifference mocks us and our petty transgressions.

I can definitely see the point here, particularly in reference to Fight Club. The men of fight club see the emptiness of their existence, and then tear it down to reveal a higher truth. Perhaps later we will discuss the levels of Nietzsche, and how they relate to the idea of the superman, but for now I will start with the assertion that only the unconscious Tyler Durden could really be considered a superman, if even he could, whereas the others could only hope to be the "god is dead" archetype that Nietzsche himself falls under. Anyway, the nihilism of horror is configured differently. When you strip the emptiness of existence, the mindless consumerism, the millions of petty things that we think about and do for no real reason, the horror of it all is that there is no life-affirming strength to be had in reaching beyond. There is a void, a horrible void. Bad things happen for no reason, good things happen to those who don't deserve them because there is a true and utter indifference in the universe. It is not a matter of balance or karma or being good or saying your prayers; it doesn't matter, and that is the horror.

Around this time of year I think about Lance Armstrong. Please note, if you did not already know, I love sports, just not participation. I love football, basketball, professional wrestling, and nearly every Olympic sport. I watch golf on occasion, I still try to follow tennis, I watch random sports on ESPN2, and I love the Tour de France. What fascinates me most about Lance is that he has the entire sport trying to make him fail, and he still comes through. It is sad, because when he retires, there will be people who still claim that riders like Eddy Merckx were better. Lance Armstrong, like Wilt Chamberlain, has seen his sport try to destroy him, and he still comes out on top. Imagine being Lance, in a country where you are booed everywhere, accused of doping with no real evidence, and more importantly, having the governing bodies try to reduce the importance of your most dominant stages each year. He is trying for seven this year, but he already has more than anyone else, including the five that Eddy had. Lance does not do the smaller races, and it will affect his legacy, but I just don't think it is right.

The horror and Lance Armstrong: Lance Armstrong was a Tour veteran before his testicular cancer, and he was already a rising star. They gave him a one in three or a one if four chance to beat it, but realistically, if you feel you have something to live for, your odds are much greater. Without the cancer, would he have had the motivation to win a tour? I think personally that the cancer was the major motivation and difference maker between Lance and Jan Ullrich, the winner of the 1997 Tour and the man who has come second to Lance on four occasions. I still have an article from Boy's Life talking about a young Lance Armstrong, pre-cancer. I think about that article, and I think about Lance completing a full recovery from cancer, and then dying one day when a car hits his bike while he is training. Would we have any what if's about Lance today? We still discuss some athletes, Len Bias dying the night that he was drafted by the Celtics, Shawn Kemp putting on the pounds, other athletes with drug problems or tragic injuries, like those suffered by both Terrell Davis and Bo Jackson that will probably ensure that they never enter the hall of fame. Would we discuss an athlete in a sport like cycling? That is where you can find the horror, not that it happened, but if it did happen, we wouldn't know. Someone dies a tragic death, and it is remembered by family and friends, but what of their unfinished work? And if what they were doing never got done, what does that say about what they did do, or what anyone has done. It is random that the particular gametes fused at that time to form you or me or anyone else. Were someone missing, the vacuum of their absense would be filled by someone else. The horror is that without you, the world goes on. Here is one more blog to fill the vacuum left by someone else's inaction/inexistence. Whether you exist or not, I am happy to greet you. The universe may not miss you, but I do.