Happy Tailiversary
Rather than do a card this year, I decided to do a blog post about my wife, Carolyn, aka kittyinabasket. Today is our 2 year anniversary, yesterday was our 4.5 year dating anniversary, and we have known each other for almost 9 years. I remember when I first met her, I thought she was cute and fun. She was always quiet, but I enjoyed spending time talking to her. I think because I was always the new person growing up, I have a pretty keen eye for the quiet person in the crowd, and I know that they have something to say as well. She would often spend the night at Heather's house, and I would look forward to talking to her, usually when Heather was off showering (unless she was demanding that Carolyn be in there to talk to her). I remember Carolyn giggling a lot, and always having to go home early. She had the strictest curfew, so she was always gone soon after she got there. As it is when anyone leaves a group that is hanging out, the mood changes, whether that is good or bad, it is just different. I remember that she had the prettiest hair I had ever seen, maybe tied with Tony, my sister's ex, but he had really great hair, so to be his equal is nothing to be ashamed of. (Now I would say that she is the definite winner because he has cut his hair significantly shorter.)
Situations as they were, I graduated, moved to LA, and found that work was lacking due to a screenwriter's guild strike. So, broke in almost every conceivable way, I stumbled home to Roseville and lived with my mom for a month. I wasn't feeling well, so I asked my sister if I could move in with her in Tucson, and that is where I was for 6 or 7 months. I still don't know about my stay in Tucson, and it was nearly 5 years ago. My sister was going through troubles in her marriage, which led to divorce soon after I left. It was inevitable, but hard to be there for. I could have done more to help her out while I was there, but I guess after a while you just get used to the way things are, and you really don't see how things should be... My relationship with my nephew deteriorated pretty heavily while I was there. I know he was young, but it doesn't take much wisdom to learn to be cruel. I think he is doing fine now, but we don't talk like we used to. When he was a baby, I used to imagine us being great friends, but I know now what there is that separates the adolescent from the adult, and why we don't consider you an adult just because you graduate or you can smoke or sign your life to the army. To me, becoming an adult is all about failing supremely, about finding out that there isn't justice or even a market for justice, that despite what they have tried to shield you from all of your life, life isn't fair. You can know that life isn't fair by what you read in your textbooks or whatever, but you can only really learn it through experience. You learn to embrace it. I love big brother.
In Tucson, I got myself together, even though in some ways my relationship with my sister and nephew have never been the same. I think that I can believe that the largest part of our semi-rift is merely geography. Not everyone calls their family everyday...
Let's go back in time a little... In March of 2000, I had not been on a date in a while, and so I wanted a practice date, and so I asked Carolyn. (I think that I asked e-lor or Heather to ask her, to further indicate that it was practice.) In truth, it was not practice at all, it was very real, as I had built up a major crush on Carolyn over time. Carolyn accepted, but then reconsidered, and the date never materialized. So, from there, a lot happens. A lot. Then we are in Tucson, and I have my act together again, doing fine. I called e-lor, we still spoke back then, and I finally told her that I had a crush on Carolyn. That same week, Carolyn told Heather that she had a crush on me. Heather and e-lor talk, ideas fuse. So, in March 2001, I decided to return to California. Carolyn was having a birthday party in San Francisco with the whole gang, and I wanted to be there. We drove for two days, and an hour outside of Sacramento, with the party starting in about 45 minutes, we had a blowout. My sister changed the tire, but by the time we got home, they had stopped waiting for me. I had a change of clothes and a present ready. I was extremely disappointed to start like that, but I had been busy in Tucson, and I had researched approximately 45 restaurants for our first actual date. Obeying the golden rule of dating, I chose Esquire Grille. (Golden Rule: Find out what she hates and what she loves and choose neither one; if you choose what she hates, she will have an overall negative impression of everything; if you choose what she loves, you are catering to her comfort zone, which is not where you want a first date to be. If she is in her favorite place, she is on what Sun Tzu would consider to be the higher ground, and you should never start off in that way. If anything, you should try to make the ground appear level, but give yourself a slightly higher position; in this case I ordered for her, so that she would try something new. Remember, if she is not trying anything new, then why are you even on a date with her? Love is a battlefield.) It was a good meal; we shared a steak for two with some delicious potatoes. I remember how cute she was all night. She was so smiley and fun. We had a good time that evening...
I could recount a hundred different stories about Carolyn, and I could probably elucidate further on why I feel the way that I do for her, but I will try to keep the rest of this brief. We married two years ago, and I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you were on that day. I look forward to talking to you everyday, even on those days when I am a brutish beast and I don't want to hear from anyone. I still find you beautiful, and I am constantly relearning what it means to kiss you. I enjoy playing with your hair and looking at your eyes. I like to hear how your day is going, and I look forward to your calls. I miss you when you aren't around. I hate to disappoint you. I talk about you constantly at work. I want to try harder because of you. You don't just make me want to be a better man, you make me a better man. I am glad I like your family as much as I do, and I am even more happy that they like me. I enjoy cuddling with you on the couch. Because of you, I have tried to do two things: Never go to bed angry, and try not to leave without saying goodbye, preferably with a hug, a kiss and an I love you. You never know what life will bring... I try to provide for you now, so that you don't have to worry later. I love the great bear debates and the lots of little things that are just between us.
I love you, Carolyn, and I want the world (or at least the one or two other people who read this blog) to know it. I love you and that won't ever change. Happy 2nd tailiversary...
Situations as they were, I graduated, moved to LA, and found that work was lacking due to a screenwriter's guild strike. So, broke in almost every conceivable way, I stumbled home to Roseville and lived with my mom for a month. I wasn't feeling well, so I asked my sister if I could move in with her in Tucson, and that is where I was for 6 or 7 months. I still don't know about my stay in Tucson, and it was nearly 5 years ago. My sister was going through troubles in her marriage, which led to divorce soon after I left. It was inevitable, but hard to be there for. I could have done more to help her out while I was there, but I guess after a while you just get used to the way things are, and you really don't see how things should be... My relationship with my nephew deteriorated pretty heavily while I was there. I know he was young, but it doesn't take much wisdom to learn to be cruel. I think he is doing fine now, but we don't talk like we used to. When he was a baby, I used to imagine us being great friends, but I know now what there is that separates the adolescent from the adult, and why we don't consider you an adult just because you graduate or you can smoke or sign your life to the army. To me, becoming an adult is all about failing supremely, about finding out that there isn't justice or even a market for justice, that despite what they have tried to shield you from all of your life, life isn't fair. You can know that life isn't fair by what you read in your textbooks or whatever, but you can only really learn it through experience. You learn to embrace it. I love big brother.
In Tucson, I got myself together, even though in some ways my relationship with my sister and nephew have never been the same. I think that I can believe that the largest part of our semi-rift is merely geography. Not everyone calls their family everyday...
Let's go back in time a little... In March of 2000, I had not been on a date in a while, and so I wanted a practice date, and so I asked Carolyn. (I think that I asked e-lor or Heather to ask her, to further indicate that it was practice.) In truth, it was not practice at all, it was very real, as I had built up a major crush on Carolyn over time. Carolyn accepted, but then reconsidered, and the date never materialized. So, from there, a lot happens. A lot. Then we are in Tucson, and I have my act together again, doing fine. I called e-lor, we still spoke back then, and I finally told her that I had a crush on Carolyn. That same week, Carolyn told Heather that she had a crush on me. Heather and e-lor talk, ideas fuse. So, in March 2001, I decided to return to California. Carolyn was having a birthday party in San Francisco with the whole gang, and I wanted to be there. We drove for two days, and an hour outside of Sacramento, with the party starting in about 45 minutes, we had a blowout. My sister changed the tire, but by the time we got home, they had stopped waiting for me. I had a change of clothes and a present ready. I was extremely disappointed to start like that, but I had been busy in Tucson, and I had researched approximately 45 restaurants for our first actual date. Obeying the golden rule of dating, I chose Esquire Grille. (Golden Rule: Find out what she hates and what she loves and choose neither one; if you choose what she hates, she will have an overall negative impression of everything; if you choose what she loves, you are catering to her comfort zone, which is not where you want a first date to be. If she is in her favorite place, she is on what Sun Tzu would consider to be the higher ground, and you should never start off in that way. If anything, you should try to make the ground appear level, but give yourself a slightly higher position; in this case I ordered for her, so that she would try something new. Remember, if she is not trying anything new, then why are you even on a date with her? Love is a battlefield.) It was a good meal; we shared a steak for two with some delicious potatoes. I remember how cute she was all night. She was so smiley and fun. We had a good time that evening...
I could recount a hundred different stories about Carolyn, and I could probably elucidate further on why I feel the way that I do for her, but I will try to keep the rest of this brief. We married two years ago, and I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you were on that day. I look forward to talking to you everyday, even on those days when I am a brutish beast and I don't want to hear from anyone. I still find you beautiful, and I am constantly relearning what it means to kiss you. I enjoy playing with your hair and looking at your eyes. I like to hear how your day is going, and I look forward to your calls. I miss you when you aren't around. I hate to disappoint you. I talk about you constantly at work. I want to try harder because of you. You don't just make me want to be a better man, you make me a better man. I am glad I like your family as much as I do, and I am even more happy that they like me. I enjoy cuddling with you on the couch. Because of you, I have tried to do two things: Never go to bed angry, and try not to leave without saying goodbye, preferably with a hug, a kiss and an I love you. You never know what life will bring... I try to provide for you now, so that you don't have to worry later. I love the great bear debates and the lots of little things that are just between us.
I love you, Carolyn, and I want the world (or at least the one or two other people who read this blog) to know it. I love you and that won't ever change. Happy 2nd tailiversary...
posted by Xryz - kingofallcosmos at
12:17 AM
3 Comments:
Ahhh. Your blog post was so special. Way better than a card, I think. You out-did yourself again. I too could tell the story of how we met and got married, but it sounds all too similar to your story. It's amazing to this day, how we both opened up to our closest friend at the time, and told them how we really felt about each other, on the same week. Our story sounds like a fairytale, as corny as that sounds, but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I'm glad you liked quiet girls with glasses, and yes, we do usually have a lot to say, we just hold it in until the right person comes along, then we can't shut up.
My crush started on you when I was in 12th grade and you would hang out with the gang while on vacation or summer break from berkeley. I thought you were so funny and just plain strange, but I was so attracted to strange guys. I loved your stories and I can't get enough of your "i'll suck your @!*%#!@, for a dollar" story. I was rolling! I think that's when my crush happened. And I also liked when we would play trivial pursuit and every answer that came out of your mouth would make me laugh because I thought you were making the most oddest random joke, but in fact, you were answering the questions correctly.You were probably wondering why I was laughing at you so much that night.Thank you for the china and thank you for the paul frank shirts. I love it all. The tailiversary isn't over yet. There is the weekend and monday night wrestling at arco arena. I love you and happy anniversary to you too. -kittyinabasket
By
Cei Pei, at 10/12/2005 8:39 PM
Thanks, Heather! That was really nice of you to say. I too, hope that the people we know meet someone special. Isn't that crack whore story the best? And I have had steak before our date, just not a big hunk a steak like that, it's usually stredded or in slices, is how I've had it. I'm excited to see your comic of us come out soon. I need to do one of you and jon and maybe laurie too.
By
Cei Pei, at 10/13/2005 2:47 PM
That was sweet, but I feel kind of dirty too, for reading things that totally should be in an anniversary card. Oh well, it'll seem less awkward once I've actually met Carolyn.
Also, I was unaware of that golden rule of dating, and it seems a good one. It's a shame Zack won't let me go out on first dates anymore.
By
lydia, at 10/18/2005 11:39 PM
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