Unclutterbug

Today I am starting an experiment that may make me update my blog more often. We will see how it goes.

I have taken an extended leave of absence from my blogging duties. Normally, this would be because of the usual suspects: TV, movies, video games, and general web-surfing. To a small extent, these all have played a role in my lack of posts. Another set of issues is that I am still not entirely comfortable writing in a blog format. I like being able to share my thoughts at a moment’s notice, but at the same time, I have a strong editorial urge. I spend so much time revising and rewording my posts that it takes several hours for me to write any of them. Plus, I get disheartened when I realize that, at best, the payoff for all of those hours of work is that maybe one or two people will read the post, and I may get one or two comments. I get criticized, mainly by my wife, but I suspect others would agree, that I am fairly wordy. She says that it is painful to read my posts because they are so long and probably a bit too complex in structure. I suppose that blogging is more therapeutic than anything else. It is cathartic to finally get an idea out there for all to read, but while I always feel relief at completing even a simple post, I soon start to feel guilt over the posts that I have yet to write. I do get some exercise for my brain that I cannot find elsewhere, but overall, given the amount of time put into each post, I don’t feel that satisfied.

So, other than the usual distractions, and the low payoff for spending several hours writing an involved post, I did have another reason for not tending to my blogging duties; I have been ridding myself of clutter. The reasons for my sudden interest in uncluttering my life are manifold, and some of them are very personal, but there are many other reasons. A few months ago, Carolyn and I were at a friend’s housewarming and he had a coffee table book about feng shui. I would not really apply all of the rules to my life, such as the furniture arrangements in orientation to the cardinal directions and certain color arrangements, but some of the other items made a lot of sense. I want to have a house where I don’t need to have things packed away into countless tubs and boxes. I do not want to live without any sort of collections, but I would like to have only those collections that are important to me. I am sentimental, and I do hold onto things for too long, but I want to hold onto only those items most precious, or at least not hold onto those items that have no positive mental value. I want more organization, and I want to be able to enjoy and share those items that I have collected that are meaningful to me. Above all else, I want to rid myself of items that do not resonate positively in my life, items that I hold out of guilt or obligation. Sometimes we hold onto things because we know that if we did not do so, we might be betraying those who gave them to us. We also hold onto items that may have monetary value, but have no real value to us. I also am very guilty of holding onto items that MIGHT have monetary value, or that may have had monetary value, but do not currently have much value at all. It is like the person that buys a stock at its peak value and holds onto it during the long downward spiral in hopes that eventually it will turn around rather than cashing out and accepting the loss.

Anyway, I have almost completed a first sweep of all of my possessions and I have put approx. 30-40% of them in the pile of items to get rid of. It is a great accomplishment for a lifelong packrat. I am not at a point where I am even close to as minimalist as the least minimalist people I know, but I am getting there. I don’t want to live in a house that has no personal possessions. After reading the feng shui book, I know I would not want to get to that point where there are no collections or personality in my house. But there is a place in between the life I read about and the life I live, and I can get there, and I want to get there, even if it means doing less blog posts for a while.

And one final point, while I am making an effort to get my life uncluttered, the same will not apply to my blogging. I realize that my prose can be dense and inaccessible, but I do not really want to make an effort to change this. If I use archaicisms, then so be it; if I tend to write endless sentences with multiple clauses and rambling thoughts, I am perfectly fine with that. I realize that I should be concerned a bit more with my audience, but this is honestly the only outlet I have for non-monosyllabic discourse, so if it tends to turns out as stream of consciousness writing, even with my constant self-editing, I have accepted this as a compromise I can live with, and I hope you can indulge me. And no, not all posts will be this difficult to slog through.