10 Year Oakmont High School Reunion
Well, here is my long-awaited report on the Oakmont Class of 1996 reunion. I will come right out and say it: I had a terrible time. It was so bad that I am still struggling with how best to describe it. So, forgive the long and rambling tale that follows. It is both amusing and depressing, much like the reunion itself.
I got to the reunion a little before 7pm, which is when registration was supposed to start. It was not open yet, and there were two people standing in front that I recognized but did not know. I could stop there, and that would pretty much describe my entire evening, but I will continue. The doors opened shortly thereafter, and we entered the fairly large room. According to the bartender, the room holds between 200 and 300 people. I would estimate that with the tables each holding 8 people, that based upon the approximate number of tables, 200 was the more likely of the two estimates. At the registration table, I remember Shannon Lynch was checking people in, Karla was standing around as a greeter, and Nicole Gieck was possibly directing people to the photographer. Shannon recognized me, which would be one of the few times that night, and she was very nice. I wanted to find her later, when she wasn’t working the door, but I did not see her during my laps of the room.
My wife had a nametag with her name, but it was not until later that we found out that she was basically one of the only spouses with one, even though she was from the Class of 1997, not 1996. She took it off after about an hour and a half because even if people did know her, it would not help that her married name was on there and not her maiden name.
We had our photo taken, and then we went over to the bar. I do not drink, but my wife wanted something, possibly a vodka tonic. Luckily she had the cash, as I never carry any. I knew that the wine, water, and sparkling cider was free and everything else was regular price, but apparently she had ignored Karla when she said that to us.
So, we went off to the side of the bar, and started talking to each other. I saw someone going to the bar that I thought might be Chris Haugh, but after a few seconds I decided that it was no one I knew. Suddenly, I was attacked out of the blue by the Chris Haugh impersonator’s date: Laurel Hanson. Note that this is the first and last time that anybody will come up to me the entire evening.
It was very pleasant to see Laurel. We had been very close until about 8 years ago, and we only saw each other a few times after that. Her hair was a regular color, which it had not been the last time I saw her. I mentioned Rob to her and she was glad to hear a little news about him. She was disappointed that Elsie was not there, as she was looking forward to seeing her. She had a different story of what happened between her and Elsie than Elsie shared, but I think that time has pretty much healed all for both. I have her business card in case anybody wants to get in touch with her.
We found a table and we sat. Laurel sat with us. Some Dustin guy sat at the table. (It was not Dustin Kramer.) Dustin knew Laurel, but we did not know each other. He was pleasant and his girlfriend was also a mortgage professional, so we talked for a few minutes. At about 7:30, the room was pretty well populated. I had a glass of warm cider, which was nasty, so I tried the wine, which was surprisingly nastier, so I had water the rest of the night. (I do not want to seem like a hypocrite for saying I don't drink, but the half glass of nasty wine was the first alcohol I have had in a couple of years, and probably the last for a long time.) People continued filing in. I had already glanced at the nametags, and while there were familiar names, Enrique Kindermann and Karen Aguas were not among them.
At this point, I saw some familiar sideburns, so I approached Jason Ormsby and spoke with him. I was extremely nervous at this point. Jason said, “Fuck it, Chris. This shit didn’t matter then, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter now.” I agreed with the sentiment, made some awkward conversation, and then let him get back to his group. Amazingly, Paul Taylor had grown a few inches after graduation, and he now has a beard, so he looks a lot like Kevin Nash, the wrestler formerly known as Diesel.
So people kept filing in. Familiar faces, and for each familiar face I usually had a name. Unfortunately, there is a human habit I know all too well. For a little backstory, I attended 13 schools before I started college, so I got used to meeting new people, learning names, remembering little details about people. I would often revisit with people after I had moved, and in a good number of cases, they no longer knew who I was. So basically, it is not enough to recognize someone, or know their name, or know something about them, but you also must know that they will know who you are. Just because I remember all the little details of someone I had Chemistry class with, to them I could be just a face in the crowd. And even then, you have to want to talk to them. If you basically sat two rows over from them in Chem class, you probably don’t have much to talk about.
To make matters worse, I have put on weight and have grown a beard. I don’t know what it is about a beard, but I may as well have been wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask if I want people to recognize me. I got used to people glancing over at me and then quickly acting like they didn’t see me, as if I was a panhandler asking for change. I would say that maybe three guys had a beard at the whole event.
So anyway, you may all want some stories about how people have changed and all that. To be honest with you, most people really looked the same. It may as well have been the summer after graduation. By the time everyone arrived, I would say there was somewhere around 25-30% of the graduating class in attendance. Of course, that does not mean that all groups were equally represented. Nearly anyone who I ever talked to or hung out with was not there, with few exceptions. In fact, nearly everyone I ever did a class project with was not there. I could go through the stunningly large list of who was not there, but basically, unless they were part of certain groups, they were probably not there.
The table next to me had several familiar people: Stacey May, Christine Lau, the Kesler twins, and Candace Epstein. None of them recognized me. I was going to try to talk to Candace, even though she gave me the panhandler look whenever she went by, because we talked quite a bit in college. Unfortunately, I had three factors working against me: 1. She was wearing her name tag on her belt loop. I suspect that this is part of that whole identical twin thing where they expect that you be able to distinguish them, even when you haven’t seen them for several years. (I knew it was Candace only after reading that it was her in the biobook.) 2. She was flanked by the Keslers, who in college were very vocal about not knowing who the hell I am. I don’t care if you don’t recognize me, but to actively disbelieve that I went to your school is a bit much. I am not a fan. 3. She spent almost all of the night dancing, and while it is awkward to go up to someone and force them to recognize you, it is infinitely more awkward to do that to someone who is dancing.
Dinner came, and it was fairly icky. Why are all banquets generally so unappealing? We had salad with choice of ranch or Italian. I hate ranch. The croutons were the antithesis of your mental image of a crouton: Soggy, limp, and mealy. The entrée was chicken with some white gravy, mashed potatoes with a hint of garlic (I hate garlic), tiny sugarcube sized pieces of cornbread, and asparagus. I traded my asparagus to my wife for her mashed potatoes, even though I really didn’t like the potatoes much. The chicken was okay; dry, but the gravy hid that fact well. For dessert, they served some flavorless chocolate torte. It was passable. Compared to the wine, the food was extraordinary.
I should mention that there was a slide show going on all night of the high school yearbook photos. It wasn’t centered correctly on the screen, so it was fine for the portraits, but when they went to the black and white photos of people around school, you often saw a disembodied torso. It took a while to figure out why they were so interested in showing off these beheaded photos. Also, all night the DJ was playing generic hits of the past. He did seem to try to play mostly mid-90's, even if his song choices were uninspired. He occasionally played a few mid-80's hits, which seemed jarring, even if they were mood appropriate.
So, at around 8:15, Monika Zalte came over and said hi to my wife. We are close friends with her younger sister Lija, and we are going to be feeding Monika's cat when they are out of town. She was staying at the hotel with some friends. She had gotten a bit too much sun at the pool, but she was having fun.
The night dragged on. I saw Matt Thompson almost walk by. I wanted to say hi, but he was gone too fast. When I saw him later in the evening, he was about 30 people deep at the bar. It was a long way to go to say hi to a guy I sat diagonal to in English class. We only really knew each other because of David Greene, who wasn't there.
I went on one of many laps around the room and ran into Jason again. We talked to him and his former roommate who had crashed the party. I thought his roommate was pretty cool. We had a good conversation, and Jason gave me a bit of a pep talk. I didn't really get any further pep, but I appreciated his words.
By the middle of the night I had made the decision that I would definitely try to be more aggressive in meeting people, especially given that by this point I had talked to Laurel and Jason and that is it. Carolyn was already begging for us to leave, but I wanted to talk to at least a couple of people. I approached Christine Lau at the table next to us. She had a bit of a nervous look, so I pointed at the nametag. Her eyes widened and she jumped up. We had a good talk for quite a while. She was my Chem partner. She lives in LA now. She remembered that I had gone to LA to pursue my career. It was a delightful conversation. She mentioned that she had heard that Ms. Colnar and Mr. Newborn had gotten married. I don't know if anyone can confirm that one, as it is a bit out there, but I would love to find out. It is funny to think about. It brings back memories of Ms. Colnar wanting Elsie Lodde to take a picture of her wearing a body stocking. That was fairly creepy.
I continued to scan the room. At this point I had pretty much given up on seeing anyone else. I could tell that Candace would be dancing for a while, Shannon was AWOL, and Matt T. was far too deep in the crowd at the bar. I thought that I saw Dawn Babasin, but she had told me that she was not going to go to the reunion. But I saw her over and over again, so I figured that I would approach the Dawnesque individual and ascertain whether it was, in fact, Dawn. Upon further inspection, it was indeed Dawn, and we also spoke for a few minutes. It was approaching 10pm at this point. She had had a few drinks and was dancing. We did not really talk much, but it was nice to see her. I said that we should make some plans with a mutual friend, and so we made these imaginary plans that may or may not ever happen. It was nice to see someone unexpected.
So, at this point, we had pretty much tapped all of the possibilities for talking to people that I knew. I could have approached Lindsay Yakimovich or Karla or some other people, but if we never talked in high school, why would we talk now? We decided to grab our gift bag and leave. I wanted to say goodbye to Laurel, so we spent about 15 minutes trying to find her. At that point our night ended. In the gift bag was the DVD of the slide show and the biobook. The biobook has the questionnaires that we were all asked to fill out, and includes several email addresses. If anyone wants me to see if someone's email address is listed in the biobook, just let me know.
So, I cannot lie and say that I had a good time. That said, I feel far better having gone and knowing that I had a shitty time than if I had not gone and regretted it forever. So, with that in mind, here are the highlights:
And again, if anyone wants the email address for someone, let me know and I will see if they are listed in the biobook.
I got to the reunion a little before 7pm, which is when registration was supposed to start. It was not open yet, and there were two people standing in front that I recognized but did not know. I could stop there, and that would pretty much describe my entire evening, but I will continue. The doors opened shortly thereafter, and we entered the fairly large room. According to the bartender, the room holds between 200 and 300 people. I would estimate that with the tables each holding 8 people, that based upon the approximate number of tables, 200 was the more likely of the two estimates. At the registration table, I remember Shannon Lynch was checking people in, Karla was standing around as a greeter, and Nicole Gieck was possibly directing people to the photographer. Shannon recognized me, which would be one of the few times that night, and she was very nice. I wanted to find her later, when she wasn’t working the door, but I did not see her during my laps of the room.
My wife had a nametag with her name, but it was not until later that we found out that she was basically one of the only spouses with one, even though she was from the Class of 1997, not 1996. She took it off after about an hour and a half because even if people did know her, it would not help that her married name was on there and not her maiden name.
We had our photo taken, and then we went over to the bar. I do not drink, but my wife wanted something, possibly a vodka tonic. Luckily she had the cash, as I never carry any. I knew that the wine, water, and sparkling cider was free and everything else was regular price, but apparently she had ignored Karla when she said that to us.
So, we went off to the side of the bar, and started talking to each other. I saw someone going to the bar that I thought might be Chris Haugh, but after a few seconds I decided that it was no one I knew. Suddenly, I was attacked out of the blue by the Chris Haugh impersonator’s date: Laurel Hanson. Note that this is the first and last time that anybody will come up to me the entire evening.
It was very pleasant to see Laurel. We had been very close until about 8 years ago, and we only saw each other a few times after that. Her hair was a regular color, which it had not been the last time I saw her. I mentioned Rob to her and she was glad to hear a little news about him. She was disappointed that Elsie was not there, as she was looking forward to seeing her. She had a different story of what happened between her and Elsie than Elsie shared, but I think that time has pretty much healed all for both. I have her business card in case anybody wants to get in touch with her.
We found a table and we sat. Laurel sat with us. Some Dustin guy sat at the table. (It was not Dustin Kramer.) Dustin knew Laurel, but we did not know each other. He was pleasant and his girlfriend was also a mortgage professional, so we talked for a few minutes. At about 7:30, the room was pretty well populated. I had a glass of warm cider, which was nasty, so I tried the wine, which was surprisingly nastier, so I had water the rest of the night. (I do not want to seem like a hypocrite for saying I don't drink, but the half glass of nasty wine was the first alcohol I have had in a couple of years, and probably the last for a long time.) People continued filing in. I had already glanced at the nametags, and while there were familiar names, Enrique Kindermann and Karen Aguas were not among them.
At this point, I saw some familiar sideburns, so I approached Jason Ormsby and spoke with him. I was extremely nervous at this point. Jason said, “Fuck it, Chris. This shit didn’t matter then, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter now.” I agreed with the sentiment, made some awkward conversation, and then let him get back to his group. Amazingly, Paul Taylor had grown a few inches after graduation, and he now has a beard, so he looks a lot like Kevin Nash, the wrestler formerly known as Diesel.
So people kept filing in. Familiar faces, and for each familiar face I usually had a name. Unfortunately, there is a human habit I know all too well. For a little backstory, I attended 13 schools before I started college, so I got used to meeting new people, learning names, remembering little details about people. I would often revisit with people after I had moved, and in a good number of cases, they no longer knew who I was. So basically, it is not enough to recognize someone, or know their name, or know something about them, but you also must know that they will know who you are. Just because I remember all the little details of someone I had Chemistry class with, to them I could be just a face in the crowd. And even then, you have to want to talk to them. If you basically sat two rows over from them in Chem class, you probably don’t have much to talk about.
To make matters worse, I have put on weight and have grown a beard. I don’t know what it is about a beard, but I may as well have been wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask if I want people to recognize me. I got used to people glancing over at me and then quickly acting like they didn’t see me, as if I was a panhandler asking for change. I would say that maybe three guys had a beard at the whole event.
So anyway, you may all want some stories about how people have changed and all that. To be honest with you, most people really looked the same. It may as well have been the summer after graduation. By the time everyone arrived, I would say there was somewhere around 25-30% of the graduating class in attendance. Of course, that does not mean that all groups were equally represented. Nearly anyone who I ever talked to or hung out with was not there, with few exceptions. In fact, nearly everyone I ever did a class project with was not there. I could go through the stunningly large list of who was not there, but basically, unless they were part of certain groups, they were probably not there.
The table next to me had several familiar people: Stacey May, Christine Lau, the Kesler twins, and Candace Epstein. None of them recognized me. I was going to try to talk to Candace, even though she gave me the panhandler look whenever she went by, because we talked quite a bit in college. Unfortunately, I had three factors working against me: 1. She was wearing her name tag on her belt loop. I suspect that this is part of that whole identical twin thing where they expect that you be able to distinguish them, even when you haven’t seen them for several years. (I knew it was Candace only after reading that it was her in the biobook.) 2. She was flanked by the Keslers, who in college were very vocal about not knowing who the hell I am. I don’t care if you don’t recognize me, but to actively disbelieve that I went to your school is a bit much. I am not a fan. 3. She spent almost all of the night dancing, and while it is awkward to go up to someone and force them to recognize you, it is infinitely more awkward to do that to someone who is dancing.
Dinner came, and it was fairly icky. Why are all banquets generally so unappealing? We had salad with choice of ranch or Italian. I hate ranch. The croutons were the antithesis of your mental image of a crouton: Soggy, limp, and mealy. The entrée was chicken with some white gravy, mashed potatoes with a hint of garlic (I hate garlic), tiny sugarcube sized pieces of cornbread, and asparagus. I traded my asparagus to my wife for her mashed potatoes, even though I really didn’t like the potatoes much. The chicken was okay; dry, but the gravy hid that fact well. For dessert, they served some flavorless chocolate torte. It was passable. Compared to the wine, the food was extraordinary.
I should mention that there was a slide show going on all night of the high school yearbook photos. It wasn’t centered correctly on the screen, so it was fine for the portraits, but when they went to the black and white photos of people around school, you often saw a disembodied torso. It took a while to figure out why they were so interested in showing off these beheaded photos. Also, all night the DJ was playing generic hits of the past. He did seem to try to play mostly mid-90's, even if his song choices were uninspired. He occasionally played a few mid-80's hits, which seemed jarring, even if they were mood appropriate.
So, at around 8:15, Monika Zalte came over and said hi to my wife. We are close friends with her younger sister Lija, and we are going to be feeding Monika's cat when they are out of town. She was staying at the hotel with some friends. She had gotten a bit too much sun at the pool, but she was having fun.
The night dragged on. I saw Matt Thompson almost walk by. I wanted to say hi, but he was gone too fast. When I saw him later in the evening, he was about 30 people deep at the bar. It was a long way to go to say hi to a guy I sat diagonal to in English class. We only really knew each other because of David Greene, who wasn't there.
I went on one of many laps around the room and ran into Jason again. We talked to him and his former roommate who had crashed the party. I thought his roommate was pretty cool. We had a good conversation, and Jason gave me a bit of a pep talk. I didn't really get any further pep, but I appreciated his words.
By the middle of the night I had made the decision that I would definitely try to be more aggressive in meeting people, especially given that by this point I had talked to Laurel and Jason and that is it. Carolyn was already begging for us to leave, but I wanted to talk to at least a couple of people. I approached Christine Lau at the table next to us. She had a bit of a nervous look, so I pointed at the nametag. Her eyes widened and she jumped up. We had a good talk for quite a while. She was my Chem partner. She lives in LA now. She remembered that I had gone to LA to pursue my career. It was a delightful conversation. She mentioned that she had heard that Ms. Colnar and Mr. Newborn had gotten married. I don't know if anyone can confirm that one, as it is a bit out there, but I would love to find out. It is funny to think about. It brings back memories of Ms. Colnar wanting Elsie Lodde to take a picture of her wearing a body stocking. That was fairly creepy.
I continued to scan the room. At this point I had pretty much given up on seeing anyone else. I could tell that Candace would be dancing for a while, Shannon was AWOL, and Matt T. was far too deep in the crowd at the bar. I thought that I saw Dawn Babasin, but she had told me that she was not going to go to the reunion. But I saw her over and over again, so I figured that I would approach the Dawnesque individual and ascertain whether it was, in fact, Dawn. Upon further inspection, it was indeed Dawn, and we also spoke for a few minutes. It was approaching 10pm at this point. She had had a few drinks and was dancing. We did not really talk much, but it was nice to see her. I said that we should make some plans with a mutual friend, and so we made these imaginary plans that may or may not ever happen. It was nice to see someone unexpected.
So, at this point, we had pretty much tapped all of the possibilities for talking to people that I knew. I could have approached Lindsay Yakimovich or Karla or some other people, but if we never talked in high school, why would we talk now? We decided to grab our gift bag and leave. I wanted to say goodbye to Laurel, so we spent about 15 minutes trying to find her. At that point our night ended. In the gift bag was the DVD of the slide show and the biobook. The biobook has the questionnaires that we were all asked to fill out, and includes several email addresses. If anyone wants me to see if someone's email address is listed in the biobook, just let me know.
So, I cannot lie and say that I had a good time. That said, I feel far better having gone and knowing that I had a shitty time than if I had not gone and regretted it forever. So, with that in mind, here are the highlights:
1. While I only talked to 4 people: Jason, Laurel, Christine, and Dawn, I enjoyed talking to each of them and catching up. If you do not see old friends very often, it is much more valuable to you to see them on those rare occasions.
2. Jason's pep talks. They made me feel only marginally better, but the fact that he was trying says a lot.
3. Laurel gushing about me. She says that she still talks about me all the time and that her now deceased father was always talking about how I would be the next Oliver Stone. We had a lot of fun.
4. It was nice to hear that Laurel wants to meet back up with Elsie. Time is like that. When Carolyn and I stopped talking to our friend Heather Ferguson, it took a few years, but we finally became friends again, and even though she lives in New York, we are all extremely close. You sometimes just need a break.
5. Christine remembering so much about me. She told my wife that I was an awesome Chem partner, which is true, but is nice to hear from someone other than me.
6. Both Jason and Laurel told the person they were with about my SAT scores. I haven't talked about those since early college, and they both remembered them.
7. My wife and I got to talk trash about people all night. That did more for cheering me up than anything else.
8. Seeing that the Miller twins were bald. They had shaved their heads, but their hair had grown in a bit, and if they grew it all out, they would have had something close to the hairline of Captain Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I really didn't have anything against them myself, but they had been cruel to my friend Enrique in high school, and that always pissed me off.
I saw a lot of people I vaguely remembered, had a little fun, but mainly felt terrible that almost no one I knew had bothered to show up. I am glad I went, even if it was one of the worst experiences in recent memories. At least I saw the people I saw and I have the biobook.And again, if anyone wants the email address for someone, let me know and I will see if they are listed in the biobook.
posted by Xryz - kingofallcosmos at
12:50 AM
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